Puff, It's Not You, It's Me...

The Setting: Yesterday, a friend of mine told me about a friend of hers who had gone to the pound to get a cat. She ended up taking it back. Then she got another one and took it back, too. Finally, she got a third one and kept it. Her explanation with the first two? "They just weren't working out."

We thought that was hilarious. They were cats. How could a cat possibly not work out? They don't need or want much. Turns out, according to my friend's friend, the first two cats actually were very needy. I'm not sure in what way, but I just had to come up with my top ten things Puff the cat could do to cause her to "just not work out.". Drum roll please....

1. She keeps eating my Pop Tarts.
2. She gets little splatters on the mirror every time she brushes her teeth.
3. She never puts gas in the car.
4. She keeps dressing my dog up in stupid outfits.
5. She smokes in the house, even though we agreed she would only do it on the back porch.
6. I keep coming home and catching her doing that Lord of the Dance clog dance. On my wood floors!
7. I suspect she's having an affair with my husband.
8. She won't stop licking herself.
9. She won't stop licking my husband.
10. She's a Republican.