B&N Kicks Major Ass

The Setting: There is a new Barnes and Noble bookstore near my house, one of those large, two-story versions.

I've decided that when I'm ready to retire or if (when?) I'm forced into early retirement, I am going to get a job at that store. I know I won't make much money but I love me some books. Plus, there's a CD/DVD department and a Starbucks. That's right - I love me some music and some coffee, too.

I went to B&N a few days ago and I ended up getting this book called The Reincarnationist by M.J. Rose, which I read for about an hour while I was still in the store. It's good so far, but I haven't read any more of it because I wanted to finish this other book called The Darkest Evening of the Year by Dean Koontz. I finished it this morning and it was alright - pretty standard Dean Koontz stuff.

I also have another book called Walt Disney World & Orlando for Dummies. I'm not exactly reading it from cover to cover. It's really just a reference for the trip I'd like to take one of these days. I like the Dummies books; they really appeal to my analytical need to plan out everything.

In related news, I guess I haven't been paying that much attention to the B&N web site. They actually have a tag cloud at the bottom of their home page, which I thought was cool for some reason. I guess I'm easily amused.

Photo courtesy of www.BN.com.

Grayish Black Friday

The Setting: Black Friday is the Friday after Thanksgiving that officially kicks off the Christmas shopping season. It's when retailers are supposed to start making a profit, moving from the red to the black.

I just got back home a little while ago. I was in Sears' electronics department at 6 am this morning. I don't normally participate in Black Friday activities, but I was up early out of habit and decided to just do it. Nope, I did not get the 65-inch Mitsubishi LaserVue HDTV I wrote about a couple days ago. Tempting, but I decided to go with my second choice: a Samsung 19-inch HDTV to put in my bedroom.

The mall parking lot was about half full at 6 am and there were a LOT of people in Sears already (they opened at 5). My brother had brought a paper over on Thanksgiving and I was able to look through the ads, so it didn't take me long to pick out the TV I wanted at Sears; however, the wait in line at the cash registers took about an hour.

I haven't heard yet if the experts consider this to be a successful Black Friday or if it's more of a Gray, a Reddish Grayish Black, or what. Personally, I think we are still doomed, but hopefully we are on our way to not being quite as doomed. What's just below doomed? Screwed? I'm hoping that next year we can start turning this ridonculous economy around. Whatever happens, I'll be watching it all go down on my new TV.

So Let's Recap...

The Setting: I really admire people who have blogs with a theme and every single day they post something that has to do with that topic. I'm not sure I have that much to say about anything. And being the arrogant bastard that I am, I usually have something to say about pretty much everything.

I was looking back over my last week's worth of postings and they are all over the place. I must be whacked out of my mind. Let's review, shall we?

• Nov. 18: I posted five of my pet peeves (there will be more). I think my comments about soccer moms may have offended a few people. As planned. I can cross #17 off my list of things to do this week.
• Nov. 20: I discussed the controversy surrounding CA's Prop 8; specifically, how protesters picketed at some Mormon temples because of the church's huge support of this prop. Final score: My Two Moms 1, Your Fourteen Wives 0.
• Nov. 21: I thought I was all clever for inventing a new phrase called the Shyamalan Phenomenon, about how so many movie trailers are better than the movies themselves. Since then, I discovered others have used this phrase before I did, although with different definitions. I am still clever, but to a lesser degree.
• Nov. 22: I showed my sensitive side and posted a kick-ass puppycam. It helps me relax, OK?!
• Nov. 23: I listed my ten reasons why Puff the cat (not her real name) was "just not working out." I had to laugh thinking of that cat doing the Lord of the Dance clog dance on the wood floors.
• Nov. 24: I admitted I am a geek and I listed some of my favorite gadgets from Wired magazine's Wish List 2008. Any minute now, the FBI will be kicking my door in for using the words "bullets" and "sniper" in the same blog posting. Hey, they were nerf bullets. Oh, and I'm gonna win that Wired contest, which includes $8500 worth of electronic loot (eLoot?).
• Nov. 25: To balance out my greed, I discussed Network for Good, my favorite online charity donation site. Seriously, check it out.
  

Network for Good

The Setting: OK, after my greed-driven posting yesterday, here's the real deal: Network for Good.

I like to use this site for making donations online. It allows you to search for your favorite charities and easily make donations to one or several organizations, all in one spot. It also keeps track of your donation history so you can print receipts for tax purposes.

These are tough economic times for all of us, but if you have a few extra bucks, why not help out someone who may have it even worse than you do.

Check out Network for Good here.

Wish List 2008

The Setting: Today I received my latest issue of Wired magazine in the mail. (Hi, I'm Val and I'm a geek!). This Dec. 2008 issue has a section called Wish List, which is a guide to help you find just the right gift for that special someone.

First of all, they trick you by starting with a fold-out ad of the new Blackberry Storm, which keeps mocking me from those cool TV ads. OK, maybe I don't need that or any of this stuff, but here are some things Wired highlighted that I wouldn't mind having:

Nerf N-Strike Recon CS-6 - This "pump-action blaster" shoots nerf foam bullets and comes with a "red-dot sight for cubicle sniping." Pump action? Red-dot sight? Cubicle sniping? And it's only twenty bucks? I'll take one! This outta liven up those staff meetings a little bit...

Tod's Cartella Computer Bag - This is a very, very sweet textured leather computer bag and it's only $1600. Ha! But the really cool thing is, Wired is having a contest and someone will win one of these bags filled with 23 very cool electronic gadgets. By "someone," I mean Val.

Mitsubishi LaserVue HDTV - Apparently, this TV consumes 33 percent less energy than a similar sized LCD and the lasers will never need replacing. Whatever. It's 65 inches of HDTV heaven! Picture it: my new TV, my La-Z-boy recliner, my 14 empty pizza boxes, and my big ole' fat butt. Merry Christmas! P.S. - This TV is only $6,999. What a deal.




Photo Credits: http://www.toysrus.com/, www.neimanmarcus.com, www.laservuetv.com

Puff, It's Not You, It's Me...

The Setting: Yesterday, a friend of mine told me about a friend of hers who had gone to the pound to get a cat. She ended up taking it back. Then she got another one and took it back, too. Finally, she got a third one and kept it. Her explanation with the first two? "They just weren't working out."

We thought that was hilarious. They were cats. How could a cat possibly not work out? They don't need or want much. Turns out, according to my friend's friend, the first two cats actually were very needy. I'm not sure in what way, but I just had to come up with my top ten things Puff the cat could do to cause her to "just not work out.". Drum roll please....

1. She keeps eating my Pop Tarts.
2. She gets little splatters on the mirror every time she brushes her teeth.
3. She never puts gas in the car.
4. She keeps dressing my dog up in stupid outfits.
5. She smokes in the house, even though we agreed she would only do it on the back porch.
6. I keep coming home and catching her doing that Lord of the Dance clog dance. On my wood floors!
7. I suspect she's having an affair with my husband.
8. She won't stop licking herself.
9. She won't stop licking my husband.
10. She's a Republican.
    

Puppies for Breakfast

The Setting: Puppycam! Watch puppies playing. And sleeping. A lot. But hurry! They won't stay puppies for long.

I'm doing this for your own good. Scientific evidence proves that watching puppies pounce on each other, chew on each others' ears and tails, eat out of a shared bowl, sleep in a big pile, pee on a newspaper, shake toys around in their mouths, and jump up on any human who goes into their cage actually lowers your blood pressure and helps you relax .

Oh wait, that wasn't the puppycam, that was the party last night at my place. ;-)

Look closely and you'll see they have on different colored collars. Dark Blue Collar is my fave. View the puppycam here.

The Shyamalan Phenomenon

The Setting: How come there are so many movies that don’t live up to their hype?

I went to the movies the other day to see Quantum of Solace. I didn't like it as much as Casino Royale, also featuring Daniel Craig, but I liked it more than the critics seemed to. Before the movie started, I realized that I could probably enjoy sitting in a theatre and watching nothing but movie previews for two hours, as long as there were a medium popcorn and a large Slurpee involved. Whomever is in charge of editing those movie trailers (the directors?), does a really good job of making you want to see the actual movies. The trailers are like little two-minute movies, with nothing but good parts throughout.

The problem is, the two-hour versions of many of those movies can't match the excitement of the trailers. This happens quite a bit with M. Night Shyamalan movies. I always want to see his movies but often end up disappointed. One example is The Happening, starring Mark Wahlberg. Did you see it? Remember how great the trailers were? Don't get me wrong: the movie was OK. It had some good suspenseful scenes, and it had that message about mankind not destroying the earth, blah, blah, blah, but I just wanted more. Check out various trailers for The Happening.

My Two Moms

The Setting: On Friday, November 14 about 2000 demonstrators protested at Temple Square in Salt Lake City against CA Prop 8, which amends California's constitution to define marriage as legal only between one man and one woman.

Another 2,000 protesters had picketed Thursday afternoon outside the Los Angeles temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Opponents of Prop 8 said they targeted the Mormon church because, allegedly, Mormon leaders had instructed church members to support the cause as much as possible, and that the church "donated a majority of money raised in support of the measure” (rumor has it, $19M). Protesters wondered if $19M was the amount needed to erase that line between church and state. The church said that it did not target any specific group and said in a statement that “it is disturbing The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is being singled out for speaking up as part of its democratic right in a free election."

The Mormon leaders recently stated, "undeviating standard of sexual morality: intimate relations are proper only between a husband and a wife united in bonds of matrimony." Protesters felt the church was being hypocritical, considering their history with polygamy, which involves relations between a husband and several wives. Although the practice was abandoned over 100 years ago, some Fundamentalist groups are rumored to still practice it underground (ala Warren Jeffs).

Needless to say, this battle will not be over for a long time to come. Whatever your views, my favorite picket sign I saw on CNN during the Salt Lake protests said, "My two moms can beat up your 14 wives."

Five of My Pet Peeves

The Setting: Here are just a few things that get on my nerves. There will be more. Day ain't over yet.

Cheap-assed paper plates: Because they bend and you end up wearing the food. Pay the extra 43 cents and splurge for the Chinettes. Please.

Precocious children: Because they are possessed by the devil. All of them. Prove me wrong.

Bill O'Reilly: Not really a pet peeve; he just bugs me. He was probably a precocious child.

People who never shut the hell up: Because they never shut the hell up.

Mini vans: Because they represent everything that's wrong with America. OK, just kidding. Let's see... soccer mom driving her kids around, cutting me off because either that van has some wicked blind spots or mommy dearest has self medicated to deal with giving up her hopes and dreams to be relegated to driving small people around who actually have lives of their own.

Wow, I really need to eat lunch - apparently, my blood sugar has dropped to dangerously low levels. ;-)~

Cleveland Browns vs. Buffalo Bills

The Setting: Monday Night Football, November 17, 2008. Cleveland Browns vs. Buffalo Bills at Buffalo.

I don't typically watch football on Monday nights, or any night, for that matter. I used to be into it, but not so much anymore. But I watched most of this game and I picked a good one to watch as it was actually very exciting. Several interceptions, lots of breakaway runs, a couple of back-to-back long yardage touchtowns, last-minute field goal, last-minute field goal miss, score close enough to keep it interesting. Final score: Cleveland 29, Buffalo 27.

I also discovered that this guy named James Walker, who works for ESPN.com, has a live blog going during the game. He posts about every half hour or so on the status of the game. Interesting. I'm gonna have to think of a reason to do a live, ongoing blog one day. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow at work: "OK, I'm going to the bathroom again. Finally, time for lunch. Now I'm staring blankly at my keyboard. Uh oh, here comes my boss..."

Movies of 2008 Christmas Season

The Setting: The five movies of the 2008 Christmas season that I am most looking forward to.


December 12 – The Day the Earth Stood Still
Keanu Reeves pretty much acts robot-like in all of his movies so he will probably do a good job playing space alien Klaatu in this remake of the 1951 original movie. Also stars Jennifer Connelly and Kathy Bates (love her!). And I’m sure there will be lots of things blowing up. Woo hoo!

December 19 – Seven Pounds
Will Smith stars as a suicidal IRS agent who is changing the lives of seven people. But we don’t know why. There is enough of a mystery here to make me really want to see this movie. That, and the fact that Will Smith is in it and he usually makes great movies. Plus, he’s fine as hell. Also stars Woody Harrelson and Rosario Dawson.

December 19 – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Brad Pitt plays a boy who was born into a 70-year old body and he’s aging backwards. No, I don’t know how it all works, but this is a funky enough concept that I wanna see it. Also stars Cate Blanchett and Tilda Swinton.

December 25 – Marley & Me
Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson star with a very cute Labrador named, you guessed it, Marley. It is about various adventures in this wild and crazy dog’s 13-year life. I know, I know: it is a feel good movie. What’s wrong with that? Hey, any excuse for some popcorn and a Slurpee.

December 26 – Valkyrie
Tom Cruise and friends plot to assassinate Hitler in Nazi Germany. Um… I don’t think they succeed, but what the heck? Interesting story, probably has some great action, and Tom Cruise is in it. Eddie Izzard is also in it – he’s my future husband, although he probably doesn’t know yet. Oh, and I get another Slurpee!

"America is a place where all things are possible..."

"Rosa Parks sat so Martin could walk... Martin walked so Obama could run... Obama ran so our children can fly..."

~ Author unknown


Photo: Kyle Almond/CNN

Vote Vote Vote!

The Setting: Early October in a westbound Delta flight. A 23-year old female is talking to a 26-year old male whom she met during the flight. Valley Val is eavesdropping (mainly because she hadn't bothered putting on her noise canceling headphones).

Female: "Yeah, my sister and I are so different. We're nothing alike. I'm short, she's tall; I have blond hair and blue eyes, she has brown hair and dark eyes; I'm Democrat, and she has a stick up her ass..."

Those were her words, not mine.

I voted during early voting, but I took my mother to the polls this morning. Very early this morning. We got in line just before 5 am. There were around 20 people in front of us. The doors opened at 6 am and we were back in the car at 6:15. By then, there were probably another 200 people in line. What I noticed about the crowd was the mixture of people: older people (definition: anyone older than I am), younger people; black people, white people, brown people (a lot more white than black or brown); people (supposedly) with sticks up their asses, others (allegedly) with no sticks up theirs.

The polls are beginning to close in the eastern states. CNN just projected that McCain won Kentucky and Obama won Vermont. Hopefully, by the end of the night, we will know which one is our next president, and it won't drag on for days. No matter what happens, history will be made tonight. I kinda like this strange new world in which two young white people can sit on an airline flight and openly discuss why they're voting for a black man. Another thing that's for sure: this has been the most interesting, exciting, mud slingingly, emotional election in which I have ever voted. And I am SO glad it's (almost) over.