We're Doomed! Doomed, I Tell Ya!!

The Setting: The failing American economy. All day, every day.

Banking Industry: We’re doomed!
Mortgage Lenders: We’re doomed!
Homeowners soon to be in Foreclosure: We're doomed! And soon to be homeless!
401K Plans: We suck!
Californian: We’re, like, doomed, dudes!
American Taxpayers: We’re doomed!
Iran: You’re doomed! Mwwaa hahahahahahaha!
British Stock Market / Nikkei / Hang Seng / India Stock Market: They’re doomed; therefore, so are we, but to a lesser degree!
Congress: We’re doomed! And indecisive!!

[Pause]

American Taxpayers: Wanna go for a Starbucks?
Everybody: Yaaaaaay!!

[Pause]

Dow Jones: Uh…Can I borrow five bucks?