Baby, You Are Magnetic

The Setting: A friend of mine at work gave me one of those magnetic poetry kits for Christmas. You know the ones?

It's a bunch of magnetic words that you use to create some clever saying and stick it to the refrigerator or some other magnetic surface. Except this one is for dog lovers. As I was on my way to the cafeteria I left a message on her desk: beautiful animals sniff butt.

When I got back from the cafe, she had left a message on my desk: sniff beautiful animals butt.

Oh, I am so gonna have a ball with these magical little magnets! Stay tuned...

"The Process Has Begun"

The Setting: Cue dramatic music and zoom in on Keanu Reeve's emotionless face as he utters this line to the poor, helpless humans in The Day the Earth Stood Still.

This movie is on my list of movies I want to see this Christmas season. I'll start my review with two comments. As the closing credits were rolling a lady walking past said to me, "Not as good as the original." Then a couple went by and I heard the woman say, "It was kinda hokey." Both true statements.

I didn't expect to see Oscar-nomination-worthy performances; I just wanted to see stuff getting blown up. Surprisingly, this movie really doesn't have a lot of that. For example, you just know that in every disaster or alien-attack movie, NYC will be destroyed. In this movie, we see parts of it destroyed, but not how you would expect. This movie has way more drama and way less action than I expected.

Plus, there is a message that is overdone to the point of being preachy. And in the end, it was a little too, well... easy to get rid of the aliens.

Keanu Reeves was good at being robotic and unemotional as Klaatu. Seeing him in a suit for much of the movie was weird because I couldn't stop thinking about the bad guys in The Matrix. Jennifer Connelly is the sympathetic scientist who wants to help Klaatu. Jaden Smith seems too bratty and smart alecky most of the movie, even after we learn his situation. Kathy Bates is tough as nails as the US Secretary of Defense. In my opinion, the star of the show is the huge, indestructible, super robot that comes out of the spacecraft. He (It?) was named Gort in the original movie, although I don't remember them saying his name in this movie. Anyway, I would like to see Gort get his own starring role.

I would give the movie a two and a half out of five. My advice if you want to see this movie: either go to a matinee (absolutely do not pay full price) or wait until the DVD comes out. In better news, yes, I had my requisite Slurpee, plus I saw a preview for the upcoming Star Trek movie, which looks promising.

Five of My Pet Peeves, part II

The Setting: I told you there would be more. Here are five more things that get on my nerves. Wah!

Glitter - I hate any and all glitter. It is so unnecessary and it gets everywhere. Once, I was explaining to a friend of mine that I don't like glitter as I was holding a greeting card that was covered in it. She looked at me and said, "You have some glitter stuck to your forehead." My point, exactly! Now, my friends who know I don't like glitter and I try to torment each other by giving each other Christmas cards covered with as much glitter as possible. MwaHaHaHa! Merry Christmas!

Sports cars that drive 10 mph below the speed limit - I guess it's actually the drivers of the cars who are going 10 mph below the speed limit. Anyway, around here, people go 10 mph above the speed limit like it's a requirement or something. If I see another Corvette going 53 on the freeway... Why did you buy that speed machine if you're not going to at least go the speed limit? I know, I know - the cops are watching you. Whatever...

Pens with blue ink - They remind me of being in elementary school. I just think that black ink is more professional, more formal or something. Blue ink reminds me of practicing writing the alphabet on wide-ruled paper just before going out to recess. And I want absolutely no reminders of that hell known as childhood.

People who tailgate: And every time you slow down or come to a stop, they almost run into the back of your car. Like every single time, it's a surprise to them that traffic is stopping. Like all the brake lights in the other two lanes and my brake lights in front of them are somehow not enough of a hint that we're stopping now. Would you like to just come ride with me? Maybe then you'll get there a whole two seconds sooner. Hmm, maybe driving 10 mph below the speed limit is not so bad after all...

People with no sense of humor - Yes, they actually exist and I know a few of them. I have secretly studied them. My findings: they suck.

Movies of 2008 Christmas Season

The Setting: The five movies of the 2008 Christmas season that I am most looking forward to.


December 12 – The Day the Earth Stood Still
Keanu Reeves pretty much acts robot-like in all of his movies so he will probably do a good job playing space alien Klaatu in this remake of the 1951 original movie. Also stars Jennifer Connelly and Kathy Bates (love her!). And I’m sure there will be lots of things blowing up. Woo hoo!

December 19 – Seven Pounds
Will Smith stars as a suicidal IRS agent who is changing the lives of seven people. But we don’t know why. There is enough of a mystery here to make me really want to see this movie. That, and the fact that Will Smith is in it and he usually makes great movies. Plus, he’s fine as hell. Also stars Woody Harrelson and Rosario Dawson.

December 19 – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Brad Pitt plays a boy who was born into a 70-year old body and he’s aging backwards. No, I don’t know how it all works, but this is a funky enough concept that I wanna see it. Also stars Cate Blanchett and Tilda Swinton.

December 25 – Marley & Me
Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson star with a very cute Labrador named, you guessed it, Marley. It is about various adventures in this wild and crazy dog’s 13-year life. I know, I know: it is a feel good movie. What’s wrong with that? Hey, any excuse for some popcorn and a Slurpee.

December 26 – Valkyrie
Tom Cruise and friends plot to assassinate Hitler in Nazi Germany. Um… I don’t think they succeed, but what the heck? Interesting story, probably has some great action, and Tom Cruise is in it. Eddie Izzard is also in it – he’s my future husband, although he probably doesn’t know yet. Oh, and I get another Slurpee!