President Barack Hussein Obama

You Want Some of Barack, too, Palin?

The Setting: Apparently, they're having a hard time finding a decent Barack Obama impersonator, a Fauxbama. I thought he had enough things going on with his voice and mannerisms that someone would be able to do it.

Fred Armisen on Saturday Night Live is only fair at his impersonation, although I think this past Saturday was the best he's done so far. Well, there's this kid on YouTube who's actually very good - he has the voice, the pauses and inflections, the "uh's," the head movements, and the finger pointings down. And he's also very funny. He doesn't look that much like Obama, but he is definitely the best I've heard so far.

His name is Iman Crossun and he has moved from Ohio to LA and now has a manager, so I'm sure we'll all see him somewhere, soon. Check out Iman's video on YouTube, which shows Obama preparing for a debate. This other video of the third Obama/McCain debate is great, too.

"America is a place where all things are possible..."

"Rosa Parks sat so Martin could walk... Martin walked so Obama could run... Obama ran so our children can fly..."

~ Author unknown


Photo: Kyle Almond/CNN

Vote Vote Vote!

The Setting: Early October in a westbound Delta flight. A 23-year old female is talking to a 26-year old male whom she met during the flight. Valley Val is eavesdropping (mainly because she hadn't bothered putting on her noise canceling headphones).

Female: "Yeah, my sister and I are so different. We're nothing alike. I'm short, she's tall; I have blond hair and blue eyes, she has brown hair and dark eyes; I'm Democrat, and she has a stick up her ass..."

Those were her words, not mine.

I voted during early voting, but I took my mother to the polls this morning. Very early this morning. We got in line just before 5 am. There were around 20 people in front of us. The doors opened at 6 am and we were back in the car at 6:15. By then, there were probably another 200 people in line. What I noticed about the crowd was the mixture of people: older people (definition: anyone older than I am), younger people; black people, white people, brown people (a lot more white than black or brown); people (supposedly) with sticks up their asses, others (allegedly) with no sticks up theirs.

The polls are beginning to close in the eastern states. CNN just projected that McCain won Kentucky and Obama won Vermont. Hopefully, by the end of the night, we will know which one is our next president, and it won't drag on for days. No matter what happens, history will be made tonight. I kinda like this strange new world in which two young white people can sit on an airline flight and openly discuss why they're voting for a black man. Another thing that's for sure: this has been the most interesting, exciting, mud slingingly, emotional election in which I have ever voted. And I am SO glad it's (almost) over.

That One 08

The Setting: Tuesday, October 7, 2008. The presidential debate.

John McCain: "“By the way my friends, I know you grow a little weary of this back and forth. There was an energy bill on the floor of the Senate – loaded down with goodies, billions for the oil companies,” Mr. McCain said, winding up to it. “You know who voted for it – you might never know?”
He then pointed at his rival, Senator Barack Obama, and answered his own question: "That one." He continued, “You know who voted against it? Me.”"

http://www.thatone08.com/

The Dream Ticket

The Setting: What would have happened if Barack Obama had chosen Hillary Clinton as his running mate? What would John McCain have had to do to beat an Obama / Clinton ticket?

McCain: "Jesus, I need your help!"
Jesus: "What do you need, Scott? No… Tom! Wait, who are you again?"
McCain: "It’s John! You remember me. Come on…"
Jesus: "Let me open these blinds. Oh yeah, I see it now. OK, I'm good. What can I help you with?"
McCain: "It's about this whole Obama / Clinton thing."
Jesus: "Yes, I've heard about it."
McCain: "I need your help. Obama / Clinton is the Dream Ticket. I don't think there is any ticket that will be strong enough to beat them. Obama / Clinton will beat anybody I could bring. There's McCain / Huckabee, but let's face it: he even scares the hell out of me."
Jesus: "Me, too!"
McCain: "A McCain / Powell ticket could've come close, but Colin said no."
Jesus: "Can't say I blame him."
McCain: "So I got to thinking. What ticket could possibly beat Obama / Clinton? And then it came to me. Picture it: McCain / Christ."
Jesus: "Don’t you mean Christ / McCain?"
McCain: "Aw, come on. I've already gotten the presidential nomination. I just need a running mate. But I just can't beat that Obama / Clinton ticket."
Jesus: "Well, neither can I. Besides, I'm an Independent. Security!"