Valley Val - A to the Z

My New Blog - The Slurpee Chronicles

2010-07-09T09:38:00.005-07:00

Hey kids, I have decided to focus my blog posts on movie reviews and other movie-related stuff. I have also decided to use Wordpress for my new blog. One day, I will transfer this blog's postings to my new site, but in the meantime, here's a link to the new place: The Slurpee Chronicles.

Thanks!

Valley Val

iPhone Tips - Taking Screen Captures

2010-02-18T09:17:00.002-07:00

I really like this feature because it works with any app, website, picture, etc. you happen to be viewing on your iPhone at the time.

Before we start: The Home button is the round button on the bottom of your iPhone. The Sleep/Wake switch is found on the top right edge of your phone. It is the same switch you press to turn your phone on and off.

To do a screen capture on your iPhone:

View the screen you want to capture.
Press the Home button and the Sleep/Wake switch simultaneously (this takes some dexterity). The screen flashes white briefly.
Go to your Camera Roll to view the picture. From there, you can:

Email the photo
Send via MMS (text message)
Assign to a Contact
Use as your wallpaper

One way I use this feature is to take captures of iPhone apps to use in blog postings or presentations at work. Also, if I don’t already have a picture of one of my friends, I use this feature to take a capture of their profile picture on Facebook and then add it to their Contact info on my phone. Then when they call me, their picture displays on my phone's screen. One cool thing is that once you add the picture to the Contact, you can then delete the pic from your Camera Roll to free up storage space.

iPhone App - Siri Assistant

2010-02-14T15:42:00.003-07:00

Here is another search app for the iPhone 3GS. Siri Assistant uses voice recognition and interpretation to help you find local businesses, set reminders, and even check the weather.

After downloading the fee App, you set up an account by entering your name and e-mail address. Then you have the option to tap your request using pre-determined categories, type out your request, or speak your request into your phone’s microphone. Siri focuses on the key words in your search to find businesses that match your request. I searched using all three methods and they all worked very well. I was very impressed by the accuracy of the voice recognition feature.

Siri is integrated with other web information services. So if, for example, you search for a movie, Siri allows you to play trailers, see reviews, map it, and purchase tickets. If you search for a particular type of restaurant in a certain zip code, Siri provides restaurant details, map, reviews, and phone number.

Cost: Free

8 Ways to Use Twitter Lists

2010-02-13T16:06:00.002-07:00

When Twitter lists first came about, I had a hard time thinking of a good reason to use them. Then I realized they were a great and efficient way to track "experts" in a particular topic. For example, I created a list that includes people or companies who offer lots of interesting and helpful information about social media-related topics. I created another list that includes those who mainly discuss tools/applications/gadgets.

Then, instead of sorting through the wide variety of messages in my Twitter timeline, I can just look at one of my lists and the tweets are focused around similar topics. Lists allow me to filter out all the stuff I have no interest in seeing right now.

The blog posting linked below includes some great ideas on how you can use Twitter lists, such as creating customer lists or promoting events. Remember, when you create a list you can make it private so others can't see it. That would come in handy if you wanted to create a customer list or something you don't want to share with all of Twitterville.
http://thebabyboomerentrepreneur.com/1149/the-top-8-ways-to-use-twitter-lists/

iPhone App - AroundMe

2010-02-12T07:50:00.003-07:00

AroundMe: This iPhone app allows you to quickly find businesses that are near to your current location. Comes in handy if you need to find a gas station or if you want to quickly find nearby restaurants, banks/ATMs, hotels, and many other categories.

Open the app and when the list displays, tap the category you want to view.
A list of businesses within that category displays, starting with the one that is closest to your current location.
Tap an entry to view its location on a map, in relation to where you are currently located.

From there, you can:

Tap to see the route to the place, including turn-by-turn directions.
Tap the phone icon to see the business’s phone numbers. Tap a number to call it.
Tap the mail icon to send the name, address, and map location to someone via e-mail.
Tap the plus sign to add the details to your Contacts or to your Favorites list.
Tap a button to post the info to your Twitter or Facebook account.

Version 3.5.1 of this app includes an Augmented Reality feature. After selecting a category, such as Coffee, turn your phone sideways and see what happens.

Cost: Free

Using Tweetchat.com

2010-02-10T20:09:00.003-07:00

I occasionally participate in a weekly Learning chat event via Twitter called LRNCHAT. Each time I send a message that I want to include in its chat stream, I add the #lrnchat hashtag to my message. Occasionally, I forget to add the hashtag and my message is not included in the chat stream.

I recently learned to be more efficient by using http://www.tweetchat.com/.

All you have to do is sign in using your Twitter credentials, type the hashtag in the window at top of the screen, and click Go. The stream from the chat event displays. When you type a message within this window, the hashtag is automatically attached for you; you don’t have to remember to add it each time. Among other things, you can also control how often the window refreshes, allowing you time to read current messages before viewing the next batch.

iPhone App: Shazam

2010-02-09T08:52:00.003-07:00

This app is truly a must-have for any music lover. It’s definitely one of my favorite apps. If you hear a song you like on the radio, in a commercial, in a restaurant - anywhere the music is loud enough for your iPhone microphone to pick it up - just point your iPhone mic towards the music and press Tag Now. Shazam “listens” to a few seconds of the song, then tries to identify the song for you.

If Shazam finds the song, it brings up a screen with the name of the song, the artist, the name of the album it's on, the artist's music label, the date and your location when you tagged the item. From there you can perform a number of functions such as:

Play a sample of the song.
Go to iTunes where you can buy and download the song.
Post info about the song you just tagged to your Twitter and/or Facebook pages.
Send a Postcard (e-card) to your friends via e-mail to share info about the tagged song so they can listen to it on iTunes and buy it.
Read a biography of the artist.
View a discography of the artist's work.
View the video for the song on YouTube, if one exists. (This doesn't always work- sometimes some random video comes up, or a video that's not the “official” one.)

Cost: Free. For $4.99, you can get Shazam Encore or Shazam Red, which offer even more features.

We knew it had to happen

2009-10-31T09:23:00.004-07:00

The Setting: Currently, you can go to Hulu.com and watch clips and entire episodes of TV shows and some full-length movies. For free.

The videos include ads at the beginning and sprinkled throughout, if they're more than just a clip. Apparently, those ads are not generating enough income for Hulu, because they are considering going to a "fee-based business model" starting next year. That means we would have to pay a subscription fee if we want to watch.

Based on the comments after this blog posting about it, it appears most people have no intention of continuing to use Hulu if the site starts charging, although some people realize there are always costs involved and they are willing to pay for the conveniece Hulu offers. And some people bring up an interesting point: would you rather watch for free but also have to deal with ads or pay a subscription fee and have no ads? Actually, I'm really not sure if Hulu will still have ads after they start charging. Hmm...

Hulu provides the convenience of watching content from various TV stations in one place, but you can typically go to a network's specifc site and watch shows there for free. Well, we'll see next year if viewers are willing to pay for convenience.

This is flippin' crazy!

2009-10-31T09:19:00.004-07:00

The Setting: I won a Flip Video camera at a social learning conference. Woot! I've been eyeing the ads and debating whether to get one, so this is great.

Here is the official Flip Video site. The one I won is the Ultra. It includes 4 GB of memory and records up to 120 minutes. It's small (around 4"x2"x1"), very easy to use, and includes a 2-inch display so you can see what you're recording. It claims to allow easy upload of videos to YouTube, Facebook, and MySpace.

I've created a few very unexciting videos of my family room and other areas of the house, which I don't think you wanna see. It has an interesting feature where it brightens the view so the video was actually brighter than the room was.

Yesterday, I did some video of the halloween festivities at work. When I played the video on my laptop, the quality was actually very good on the larger screen. It didn't pick up voices if someone was speaking in a low voice or was too far away, but it did fine with people who were closer and talking at regular speaking levels.

The Flip is very convenient but obviously doesn't have the same features as a more robust video camera. For example, the zoom is only 2X but, hey, whadda ya want? For the cost and convenience, it's very nice. After recording video, just plug the flip out USB arm into your PC. Very easy. Great for someone who just wants to record at a party, while on vacation, whatever event, and upload video without a lot of work involved.

I haven't used the editing features yet so I don't how easy they are to use. As I use the camera and learn the features, I'll report back. Maybe I'll even add some music and cool features to my family room video and post it here. Or not.

CNN's Apps of the week

2009-10-31T09:16:00.004-07:00

The Setting: Speaking of digital books, there are many apps available for you to read books on your smart phone.

These apps could be really helpful to you if you're stuck somewhere for a long time, traveling, sitting a the DMV, etc. Some of the available apps include Amazon's Kindle, Barnes & Noble's reader app, Mobipocket, and Stanza.

The good news is that many of the apps are free. The potential bad news is that it could be tiring on the hands to have to continually "turn" the page. Also, some people may not be able to stomach reading off of such a small screen, although some readers will allow you to change text size.

More info about theses apps is available at CNN's Apps of the week page.

Barnes & Noble's E-reader

2009-10-29T15:55:00.013-07:00

The Setting: Barnes and Noble offers a competitor to Amazon's popular Kindle wireless reading device called the Nook.

The Nook costs $260. B&N offers more than one million books, magazines, and newspapers in its eBook store. With the 2GB of memory, the Nook can hold up to 1500 books, and it includes a microSD slot if you want to add more. The Nook does not have a web browser, it connects to the B&N eBook store using a free 3G AT&T connection. It also offers a WiFi radio customers can use at B&N locations and 600 college stores. Barnes and Noble will start shipping the Nook in November. You can view the features of and/or pre-order the Nook on B&N's site.

Here's an article about the Nook that provides more info.

Google Wave for the iPhone

2009-10-29T15:52:00.008-07:00

The Setting: Google Wave may already work on the iPhone.

What is Google Wave? A new application from Google that, "..combines the elements of e-mail, chat, Wikis, blogs, and photo sharing sites to create a form of Internet communication called a hosted conversation or a wave."

The Tech Crunch blog provides for anyone interested in setting up Google Wave on their iPhone. Remember, Google Wave is still in beta test.

Easily see your new Twitter followers

2009-10-29T15:51:00.010-07:00

The Setting: Tweetdeck is a Twitter application that allows you to more easily manage your tweets by separating them into various columns. So you could have columns for your new tweet messages, your mentions, your direct messages. You could also have columns for Facebook and MySpace updates, but that's a different story.

Tweetdeck now allows you to easily see your 100 most recent Twitter followers in a separate column called New Followers. From there, you can click someone's name to view their profile and/or click to follow them, if desired. It's very cool and easy.

All you have to do is click the New Twitter Column icon in the upper left of your Tweetdeck screen and select New Followers. Oh, you must have v0.31 of Tweetdeck or higher to use this feature.

You can download Tweetdeck here.

Three movies I want to see

2009-10-03T13:48:00.035-07:00

The Setting: Here are some upcoming movies that I'm looking forward to seeing. Click the movie titles for previews.

Precious
Release date: Limited release Nov. 6; wide release Nov. 20, 2009
Director: Lee Daniels
Starring: Mo'Nique, Gabourey Sidibe, Paula Patton, Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz
Plot: Precious is a pregnant sixteen-year-old who can neither read nor write. She is emotionally and physically abused by her mother and deals with constant bullying at school. Precious remains hopeful of a better future and when she transfers to an alternative high school, she believes she has found her way. This one will be tough to watch. I did not read the novel Push by Sapphire, which this movie is based on, but I'm assuming (and hoping) there will be a happy ending.

2012
Release date: November 13, 2009
Director: Roland Emmerich
Starring: John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Amanda Peet, Oliver Platt, Thandie Newton
Plot: December 2012 is the timeframe when many cultures and religions say something major will happen to change the world as we know it. We just don't know what the something is. This movie seems to be taking the approach that the world will end then. Yet, there are survivors. Hmm... already inconsistent. But what the hell - great special effects, so I'm there. Also, I really dig their official site: games, iPhone apps - it appeals to my inner geek.

Avatar
Release date: Dec. 18, 2009 (worldwide)
Director: James Cameron
Starring: Sam Worthington, Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez, Giovanni Ribisi
Plot: Description from the official site: "On the distant moon Pandora, a reluctant hero embarks on a journey of redemption and discovery as he leads a heroic battle to save a cililization." This movie could absolutely suck and I would give it three out of five Slurpees just based on the amazing special effects. That's what I say now, but stay tuned for my review sometime in December.

Calling all Twitter users

2009-09-17T10:40:00.006-07:00

The Setting: Phone calling is coming to Twitter.

Using a third-party tool from Jajah, Twitter users will be able to make phone calls to each other through their twitter accounts. The person receiving the call must be a followerr of the person making the call and both must have Jajah accounts.

The service is expected to work on any Twitter-enabled device, from PCs to smart phones. During the beta period, the calls will be limited to two minutes which, according to Jajah, will be the "verbal equivalent of a tweet."

Why not just make a phone call? One of the features of this tool will allegedly be the ability to make the voice calls while keeping your cell phone number private from the people you chat with on Twitter. Hmm... we'll see.

Read the article about phone calling coming to Twitter here.

Voice chat coming to Facebook

2009-09-17T10:38:00.010-07:00

The Setting: So does this mean I will be able to talk to other gangsters right before I kill them in Mob Wars? Woot!

Using a plug-in from Vivox, Facebook users will soon be able to voice chat one-on-one or hold large group discusions with anyone on their friends list. Vivox is the company that provides integrated voice service for virtual worlds Second Life and EVE Online. I occasionally use the voice feature within Second Life and the quality is very good. Non-Facebook users will be able to call in to existing conversations using free dial-in numbers.

I'm curious to see how people will use this feature in Facebook. I'm envisioning that instead of just using the text chat feature to communicate with my niece who's in college on the other side of the country, we could switch to the voice feature and have an actual conversation. For free, without cutting into precious cell phone minutes. Pretty cool. According to the article, the voice can also be integrated into any of the third-party Facebook applications, such as games.

When this feature becomes available, I'll definitely check it out. Click here to read the article about this upcoming feature.

Tweetdeck adds Facebook and MySpace

2009-09-17T10:35:00.005-07:00

The Setting: Tweetdeck is a free client that helps you more easily filter your Twitter messages. It's one of the many tools out there that makes Twitter a lot more manageable.

Tweetdeck has been updated to allow it to work more smoothly with Facebook and MySpace. I don't use MySpace but the Facebook feature is really cool. You can now see more than just your friends' status updates. You can see their Likes and Comments, you can click Like, make comments, and write on someone's wall, all from within Facebook.

The updated Tweetdeck makes it easy to drag photos and links to the composing window. It then automatically shortens the URLs for you. I'm still discovering all the features, but I really like it so far. I'll let you know about any other cool things I learn.

Here's where you can download Tweetdeck for free. Here's some more information about updated Tweetdeck.

Cool iPhone Apps

2009-09-17T10:24:00.005-07:00

The Setting: One of the reasons I want an iPhone is because of the cool apps. I'm a geek, you see.

Here are some favorite iPhone apps from some tech enthusiasts. I've heard of Bump and I think it's pretty cool. I've also heard of Geocaching, although I don't fully understand it. Yet.

REVIEW: Laura Izibor - Let the Truth Be Told

2009-08-29T16:23:00.024-07:00

The Setting: It's very rare that I enjoy an opening act at a concert enough to go out and buy their album, but that's exactly what I did after seeing Laura Izibor's performance.

I saw Laura Izibor when she opened for Maxwell in June 2009 in Phoenix. Not only did she sound amazing, she was personable, funny, and obviously belonged on that stage. She performed a few songs with only an accompanying guitar and played along on piano on a few others. She told great stories describing how she came to write each song. Each time she finished performing a song, I would hear someone around me in the theatre saying, "She's good." I was thinking the same thing and I wondered why I had never heard of her and why she was not already huge. I also knew it was just a matter of time.

So on to the Let the Truth Be Told album: I'll just start off by saying this is my favorite album of 2009 (yes, I know the year is not yet over). Laura Izibor has a strong, soulful voice, expressing great emotion as she performs these highly personal songs. Laura wrote all songs and played piano on all tracks. She will be compared to India Arie for her positive strength and to Alicia Keys as a soulful singer, songwriter, pianist. For me, this is one of those albums you put on and let play all the way through, no fast-forwarding through the "filler" songs.

The album begins with the bouncy, bubbly, poppy Shine. Great song to listen to while trying to find your motivation on your way to work. I'm a sucker for strings and there are plenty on this album. Most notably on Perfect World, which is what I call a perfect song: wonderful lyrics, excellent singing, beautiful music, great production. Perfect. It's not about your clothes, what you have, keep ya money. Laura sings, "Baby don't you know you're all I need." This is my favorite song on the album.

A close second is Yes (I'll Be Your Baby). Laura's voice has a slight reggae feel on this. Great head-bobbing drum and bassline. Listen closely for the scratchy guitar. Funky! Also, this song is just screaming to be on someone's movie soundtrack. During her concert, Laura described writing The Worst is Over to a friend who was in a bad relationship, but would/could not leave it. This is a completely relatable song; I think we have all been there. Again with the strings and Laura takes it to church on this tune. Beautiful. I Don't Want You Back is soulful, mournful and tells the story of realizing that sometimes the best thing to do is let someone go.

Laura is opening for John Legend on some of his 2009 shows. Interestingly, I would describe her voice on a few songs as sounding like a female version of Legend. If you have a chance, go check out a show. In the meantime, get this album!

The AC Chronicles

2009-08-22T10:52:00.013-07:00

The Setting: August in Phoenix and the air conditioner goes out. Let's chronicle how long it takes to get it fixed.

When I went to bed last night, I noticed it was a little warmer than usual, but not that bad.

6:30 AM - It is clear that something has gone horribly wrong. The air conditioner upstairs is blowing air; only one problem - it's hot air. The unit outside is humming and straining but not kicking on.

7:25 AM - I had looked up some AC companies online, even checked the Better Business Bureau, and narrowed it down to three. The first company I called said they could have a technician to the house between the hours of (drum roll please) 8 and 11 AM. Great. It won't be too hot before they come.

10:51 AM - Starting to get a little warm. The customer service rep calls and says the previous customer decided to buy a new AC unit so the tech is "filling out paperwork." They'll call back when he's on his way. Good.

11:09 AM - CSR calls back - the tech is on his way. Yay!

11:20 AM - Tech is here. Yay, part II!

12:05 PM - Unit is repaired, tech is gone (along with my $607.80), upstairs is starting to cool off.

Whew. The unit was fixed quickly and it really didn't cost that much. This could have been a lot worse than it was. Also, the customer service rep was helpful and friendly, and the technician was very friendly, professional, and funny. Wow, imagine that - great customer service.

Forward this e-mail and rainbows will appear

2009-08-19T19:02:00.016-07:00

The Setting: I just received another one of those hoax e-mails. In related news, I'm really starting to enjoy looking up stories on Snopes.com

The latest e-mail a friend sent me is this story about a girl who had been badly burned in a fire at a Wal-Mart. At the end of the sad story, the reader is told to forward the e-mail because every time you do, Yahoo will donate $2 to the family's hospital bill. Depending on who started the e-mail chain, you can replace Yahoo with AOL, MySpace, whatever. It's not true in any case.

About three weeks ago, I received an e-mail about how dialing #77 on your cell phone gives you direct access to a dispatcher who can verify state trooper information. That way, you don't have to take the chance that the cop who's attempting to get you to pull your car over is really an ax murderer who's ready to take a swing at you. According to Snopes, there are actually some states in which dialing #77 on your cell phone will immediately connect you with that state's highway patrol, but it doesn't work in most states.

A novel idea, one tweet at a time

2009-08-03T09:54:00.006-07:00

The Setting: Author Matt Stewart is posting his entire novel via posts on Twitter, one tweet at a time.

A friend of his created a tool that automates the tweets and sends them out in 140-character chunks. Stewart estimates that it will take 3700 tweets to transmit the entire novel. The book is also available via Stewart's web site, and on the Kindle.

You can read the article here.

Five jobs for Facebook addicts

2009-07-28T07:51:00.007-07:00

The Setting: Are you a Facebook guru and/or an expert in Twitter and LinkedIn?

New job roles are being developed as a result of the growth of all these social media tools. However, there's really not a lot of these jobs available yet, so get ready for some competition.

Here is an article that describes five jobs to consider in your next job search if you feel you are a social media / networking expert.

Evolution of Blogging

2009-07-23T07:49:00.003-07:00

Here is an interesting article, written by Dan Fletcher, on the evolution of blogging:

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1912249,00.html

A tiger, a chicken, and a dog go to Vegas...

2009-07-13T16:10:00.004-07:00

The Setting: Don't worry: they were not harmed and they're doing just fine.

I gave a review of the movie The Hangover back in June. I thought it was a great movie and I recommend it. In case you were wondering, no animals were harmed during the filming of the movie. I found this site that explains the "featured animal action." You can read about how the animals were treated and how the scenes were filmed.

Also, check out the American Humane site. I had no idea this existed...

Yaaayyy!! Slurpees!!

2009-07-10T06:25:00.006-07:00

The Setting: This Saturday, July 11 is 7-Eleven Day (it's 7/11 - get it?), the day 7-Eleven celebrates its 82nd birthday.

Y'all know how much I love me some Slurpees, right? Well, guess what! As part of the celebration, 7-Eleven is giving away free Slurpees! There will also be some free cash prizes. Go to the 7-Eleven site for all the details. Get there early because they are only giving away 5 million Slurpees on Saturday. Woot!

Michael Jackson's Baby Daddy

2009-07-09T18:40:00.008-07:00

The Setting: The latest rumor is that dermalogist Dr. Arnie Klein is the biological father of Michael's two oldest children.

When asked about that rumor by Larry King, Klein stated that he had donated sperm at some point, although not to Michael Jackson. And he made this statement on Good Morning America:

"I can't say anything about it, but ... to the best of my knowledge, I am not the father of these children," he told Diane Sawyer. "I can't answer it in any other way. I don't want to feed any of this insanity that is going around."

To the best of your knowledge? Hmm...

Allegedly, Debbie Rowe may now want custody of the two oldest kids. Now some people are saying that they may not even be HER biological kids. If the dermatologist is the father, here we go with a whole bunch of other worms.

Well, Debbie and Arnie, if you want all this speculation to end, just take a DNA test. People typically only hesitate to have the test because they're unsure or afraid of what the results might be. Unfortunately, depending on the results, the kids could be the ones who end up suffering.

Celebrity Death Watch

2009-07-05T14:34:00.009-07:00

The Setting: It seems a lot of celebrities have died over the past couple of weeks. Weird...

Once several celebrities had died, rumors quickly started spreading online about a whole bunch of others dying. I heard the rumors about Jeff Goldblum and I seem to recall something about Natalie Portman, but I had not heard the rumors about Harrison Ford, George Clooney, and Britney Spears.
There's some dude named Rich Hoover who has a site called fakeawish.com, that "allows users to input celebrity names into five false news templates with outlandish stories about their deaths." Apparently, after Michael Jackson died, people used this site to generate false stories about other celebrities. Some people then read the stories and reposted links to them on their Twitter and Facebook pages without reading the "small disclaimer" that said the stories were not true. Others then jumped on the bandwagon and reposted / retweeted the fake stories themselves.

Hoover said, "I'm absolutely flabbergasted by the success of this and the impact these social networks have on communication -- and the communication of misinformation."

Well, that's the thing. All this social media is great for quickly spreading information. Only problem is, it may not be true. Hell, you don't even know if what I just said is true. Here's a link to the article about celebrity death rumors.

Sarah Palin Resigning

2009-07-04T11:34:00.008-07:00

The Setting: Sarah Palin said she will stop down as Governor of Alaska by the end of this month and will not run for a second term in 2010.

Palin gave a press conference where she didn't really provide a clear reason why she is resigning but she did say:

"Once I decided not to run for re-election, I also felt that to embrace the conventional lame duck status in this particular climate would just be another dose of politics as usual, something I campaigned against and will always oppose."

One annoymous source feels that Palin's "book deal and other issues" were "causing a lot of friction" in her home state. Here are Mark Halperin's 10 Possible Reasons for Palin's Decision. I think the main reason is #10 - she's stepping down so she can start the process for becoming the Republican party's 2012 presidential nominee. We'll see...

Michael Joseph Jackson

2009-06-25T17:15:00.019-07:00

1958 - 2009

Photos: myspaceantics.com and bordersmedia.com

"There's a tiger in the bathroom!"

2009-06-13T13:05:00.015-07:00

The Setting: I really like seeing movies when I don't know too much about them. As I mentioned in a previous post, previews give way too much of the movie away.

I must not have seen more than a couple previews for The Hangover, because I only had a vague idea of what it was about. But I needed some comedy in my life today so I decided to go check it out, and I am SO glad I went.

Four friends hit Las Vegas for a bachelor party before Doug's wedding. The next day, Doug is missing. Not only do his friends not know where he is, they have no idea what happened last night or why there's a tiger in the bathroom. The movie is about the guys using the few clues they have to piece the story together, find Doug, and get him to the church on time. It is a great ride as the story unfolds. I laughed out loud more times than I can remember. Along the way they meet a baby, the menacing Mr. Chow, and (yikes) Mike Tyson.

A la Trading Places and Coming to America, this movie has lots of great lines that people like me will amuse ourselves quoting every chance we get. One of my favorites: when asked directions somewhere, Dr. Valsh replies, "Yeah, it's on the corner of 'get a map' and 'fuck off'."

The movie stars Justin Bartha as Doug; Bradley Cooper as his married thrill seeking buddy, Phil; Ed Helms as straight-laced, henpecked dentist, Stu; and Zach Galifianakis as the bumbling but well-meaning brother-in-law to be, Alan. You won't hear me say this very often, but I give The Hangover four Slurpees out of five. It may not win any Oscars, but I highly recommend that you go see it if you just want to laugh your ass off.

"I need access to the Vatican Archives"

2009-05-31T17:51:00.008-07:00

The Setting: Spoken by Robert Langdon in the movie Angels and Demons.

Angels and Demons is actually the prequel to the Da Vinci Code. I liked the Angels and Demons book more than the Da Vinci Code so I was looking forward to this movie.

The Pope has died and all cardinals are gathered at the papal conclave in Vatican City to elect a new pope. Four cardinals are kidnapped and a message is received that the four cardinals will be killed, one by one. Not just any cardinals; these four are the Preferiti - one of them is most likely to be voted by his peers as the new pope.

The kidnappers have also stolen and hidden a canister of antimatter which, if allowed to expode, would completely destroy Vatican City along with its priceless art, documents, architecture. Get it? Science vs religion. Symbologist Robert Langdon and physicist Vittoria Vetra are in a race against the clock to locate the kidnapped cardinals before they are killed. So the mystery this time is Langdon and friends trying to determine the locations where each cardinal will be killed and save them, while at the same time trying to figure out where the antimatter is hidden.

The storyline of the movie does not stick exactly to the book but the gist of it is still intact. Expect lots of scenes of Robert and Vittoria staring at old documents for clues, lots of cars racing through the streets, and actually, lots of action. There are moments that are not very believeable or feasible, but hey, it's Hollywood. It has enough action and plot twists to keep it interesting. Several times from where I was sitting in the theatre, I could see people literally sitting on the edges of their seats. All this time, I thought that was a cliche.

The movie stars Tom Hanks and Ayelet Zurer. I give it three thick Slurpees.

I scream for iPhone

2009-05-22T08:29:00.014-07:00

The Setting: After thinking about it and thinking about it, I'm going to take the leap. Yes, I decided that I'm finally going to get a Smartphone.

My next decision is which one to get. I'm analytical so I must do my research. I asked friends their opinions about phones they've used. They let me try them out. I searched on the Internet for info; there's all kinds of comparisons charts out there. I gravitate towards the Blackberry and the iPhone. They're both obviously very cool and offer a bunch of features. Ultimately, it comes down to whether I care about being able to receive work e-mail on my phone, because the iPhone is not supported for that where I work (is it anywhere?).

I really just wanna be able to do a wide variety of things, most of which do not involve work in any way. I'm sure that time is coming, but it's not here yet, so... I am 95% sure at this point that I'm getting an iPhone. I was all ready to run to the Apple store to grab one but a new version is coming out in July. Depending on which site you read, that could be in 2009 or 2010. I'm hoping it's actually 2009 'cause I'll wait for it if I go with iPhone. Til then I have several weeks to go to the stores and try different phones out further and ask whatever questions I have, so I could change my mind before July (doubtful). I'll let ya know what happens.

Here's one of many sites that discusses the features that the Next Gen iPhone is rumored to have.

Who are you and what have you done with my mom?

2009-05-20T21:06:00.004-07:00

The Setting: Don't tell anyone, but I'm an American Idol fan. My mom and I are both like Adam Lambert.

I watched the season finale with my mom and here are my three favorites moments of the night:

I saw a commercial for the Sims 3, which will be released on June 2. I haven't played the Sims in a couple of years, and I'm curious to see what improvements they've made.
I saw a preview for a Jerry Bruckheimer movie called G-Force that my friend Theresa helped animate. She is amazing!
When Adam started singing with KISS, my mom (who, BTW, is in her 70s) yelled, "Alright!" I turned to see her clapping her hands and jamming down on the couch. I asked, "Do you even know who KISS is?" She said, "Yes. I don't particularly care for their makeup, but I like them." As I stood there thinking "WTF?!" she added, "but I like U2 more." Party on, mom.

Who you callin' a Tweeter?

2009-05-20T18:19:00.004-07:00

The Setting: I figured it was about time I learned more about Twitter, since I use it and everything.

Yesterday, I was Googling and found this great Twitter Resource. It provides a plethora of information including Twitter basics, a glossary, apps and services... the list goes on and on. Check it out.

News about my 200.5K plan

2009-05-14T11:00:00.004-07:00

The Setting: After several months of denial, disappointment, and despair, I finally broke down and checked my 401K.

It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Still bad, mind you, just not quite as bad as the devastation I felt around the end of last year. My funds have actually made some gains this year.

At this rate, I might actually be able to retire around... I don't know... say, 12 years after I die. Yaaaay!

Here's a related article on CNN Money.

Live Long and Prosper

2009-05-13T07:10:00.004-07:00

The Setting: Yep, I went and saw Star Trek.

I really liked this movie. It was a great prequel to the TV series and does a good job of explaining how the characters came together. The casting was great. Spock, played by Zachary Quinto, was my favorite.

The movie has Titantic syndrome (you show the ship's gonna sink in the end); meaning, you know none of the main characters are going to die because it then wouldn't be possible for them to later exist in the series. But it has enough great action to keep it interesting, cool special effects, and things blowing up, and I'm a big fan of all of those things. Especially when there's popcorn involved.

There is this time travel thing going on, which is just a little illogical, but that's another story. It's Star Trek - just go with it. Also, certain parts of the storyline were a bit of a stretch, but overall I thought it was well done.

I give this movie three Slurpees out of five.

I'm glad I finally did it

2009-05-12T22:32:00.007-07:00

The Setting: My friend Cindy gave me a very cool birthday gift - a gift certificate from Kiva.org.

Kiva describes itself like this:

Kiva is the world's first person-to-person micro-lending website, empowering individuals to lend directly to unique entrepreneurs around the globe.

Basically, Kiva allows you to make a small loan ($25-$50) to an individual who is attempting to get a business started in their community. For example, someone might be trying to start up a restaurant or open a store but she just doesn't have the money to get things going. With your loan and loans from others, she can get the business started and eventually pay you your money back. After she pays you back, you can then loan the money to someone else to help them get their business started.

I think it's a great idea. A few friends had told me about Kiva before but I admit that receiving the gift certificate made me take a closer look and actually get involved.

Brack Alabama?

2009-05-09T08:27:00.006-07:00

The Setting: Amazon's Kindle device can't pronounced Barack Obama's name. Apparently, it says it like Brack (rhymes with black) Alabama.

Nuance Communications, the company that licenses its text-to-speech engine to Amazon for the Kindle, has added the correct pronunciation to the dictionary and plans to push a wireless update to Kindle devices. You can read the whole article here.

Oh, and by the way, Amazon is set to release the new Kindle DX device, which has a 9.7" diagonal screen and "boasts 16 shades of gray for clear text and sharp images". Sixteen shades?! Whoop whoop!! When I went to Amazon.com, the home page has a letter to customers about the Kindle from Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon. You can pre-order one for shipment sometime this summer for a mere $489. I still haven't decided if I want one or not since my posting back on February 4, 2009, although those 16 shades of gray just might do it for me.

And just for kicks, way back from November 12, 2004, here is David Letterman's Top Ten Ways to Mispronounce Barack Obama. I think number 5 is my favorite.

"This is better than a baby"

2009-04-17T19:09:00.006-07:00

The Setting: This is what my brother's friend told him about walking through the mall carrying a Nintendo Wii Fit. Women flocked to him, oohing and ahhing his Wii Fit. It seemed to draw as much attention as if he had been carrying a cute baby.

My family got me a Wii Fit for my birthday (at my request - don't think they were trying to tell me something). I've played games on my friend's Wii before and absolutely loved it. People I know who have the Fit have nothing but good things to say about it. They say it's a good workout and you can actually have fun doing it.

I'll be the judge of that.

I'm hoping that it will be more fun than riding my stationary bike. Fast forward to Monday morning: "Hi, I won't be coming to work today. Umm... because I can't move."

In related news, here's an article called, Troubled times for the Wii?

Press Send and...Oops!

2009-03-25T17:03:00.011-07:00

The Setting: Finally, a little bit of help for those of us who wish we could take it back.

Way back in October 2008 I wrote about the awkward situation of sending an e-mail to the wrong person or saying something stupid in your e-mail that you wish you could take back.

Google's e-mail has introduced an email tool that allows you to undo an embarrassing e-mail you sent by mistake. The catches are it only works with Gmail accounts and you only have five seconds to undo the send. Here is the article about the undo send tool.

The Ego Massage Generation

2009-03-17T16:13:00.015-07:00

The Setting: Do you feel obligated to accept someone’s friendship request on Facebook just because they offered it?

Or connect with someone on LinkedIn because they sent a request? Or follow someone on Twitter because they’re following you? Or connect with anyone on any other social networking tool out there, just because they asked?

I have had this conversation with a few of my friends and many are having these same thoughts. For some people, it really is about quantity and not necessarily about quality. It's a competition – who can get the most connections. Is it just massaging your ego if you have more friends, connections, links, followers, minions than anyone else? Is it about connecting with as many people as possible, is it about the networking?

Speaking specifically about Facebook, I admit I have accepted friend requests from people who are friends of my brother (I at least knew who they were), people I don't really know but we belong to the same organization or professional group, and people who are friends of friends.

I have three friends requests on my Facebook account right now. One is a friend suggestion from someone who thought I might know the person. I don’t. One is from someone I went to high school with whose name sounds vaguely familiar but I know she was not someone I hung out with. The last is from someone I did know in high school and although we were not enemies, I don’t have the best memories of our relationship. Why is it so important for them to be friends with me? Because I am so amazing? Perhaps. Who can blame them, really? I'll keep ya posted.

Social Media Last Will and Testament

2009-03-14T17:16:00.008-07:00

The Setting: So what happens when an online gamer dies? How will his online gaming buddies know about it? Will they think he just abandoned them? Do we care?

I read an interesting article about family members searching down their dead gamer relative's passwords to online sites and then logging on to contact the gamer's friends to let them know what happened. Some gamers are actually leaving their log in / password details where family members can find them so that if they should die, their family members can log on to the various sites and communicate their demise.

There is a site called Deathswitch where members pay $20 a year and set up to 30 e-mails. If they don't check in at regular intervals, the e-mails are automatically sent to whomever the member specified. Another site called Slightlymorbid, whose byline says "Notify your online friends if something happens to you," is similar to Deathswitch. The difference is that the member does not need to check in at regular times; instead, their family member contacts the company if something happens to the member to start the "notification process." The Legacy Locker site plans to launch in April. It will require a death certificate before releasing any information.

With the popularity of online games and social media, I imagine we'll see more and more companies like these popping up. Click here to view the Death of gamers article.

"I always knew this day would come."

2009-03-12T12:29:00.009-07:00

The Setting: Our good friend Bernard Madoff was kind enough to plead guilty to charges that he ran a ponzi scheme, swindling billions from investers. He faces up to 150 years in prison when he's sentenced on June 16.

Some of the investors have lost everything. We can make all the judgments we want to about them putting all their eggs in Bernie's basket, but he truly swindled them. Worse, many of the people he ripped off, were friends of his.

Madoff said in court, "I am ashamed for these criminal acts. I always knew this day would come." Well, you should be. And, yep, the day has come.

Don't worry Bernie. Maybe you'll only get, say, 50 years. You'll only be 120 years old when you get out.

Hmm... I'm sensing a new band name

2009-03-12T05:49:00.007-07:00

Topic: Ladies and Gentlemen! Put your hands together! And now, coming to the stage....Shoe-throwing Journalist!

Remember that Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at then-President George W. Bush during a news conference in Baghdad? When the Secret Service had apparently run out to Starbucks? Well, he was sentenced to three years in prison Thursday by an Iraqi court. Journalist Muntadher Al-Zaidi was seen as a hero by many in Iraq and his sentencing sparked protests in the streets. Oh, and he had 17 lawyers. Seventeen! If you have that many lawyers, shouldn't you win your case? That's another story, I guess.

Anyway, just so you know: the world is safe again.

Are these for real?

2009-03-08T09:32:00.010-07:00

The Setting: Those were my first words after reading this ad from Costco.

My friend Terri sent me this link to an ad for electronic cigarettes. e-Cigarettes – are you kidding me?! Perhaps we've taken this whole "e" thing a little too far. So if you smoke these, do you smell like e-smoke, e-Jones for a smoke, and get e-smoking-related illnesses?

But wait, there's more!! Extra battery and charger are included!!

Oh well, I guess smoking these are better for your health than smoking the real thing. But I love that the product recommendations include a tooth whitening system. Do these things actually e-stain your teeth? Kids, smoking is so not cool...

Just to prove I'm not making this up, click to view the NPRO Starter Kit ad.

Do I Want One of these or Not? Hmm...

2009-02-04T16:32:00.017-07:00

The Setting: I seem to recall Oprah talking about how wonderful it is. As of this writing, it is sold out on Amazon.com.

Coincidence? Perhaps. But every time Oprah holds something up and says, "Get this," millions of women flock to the store, web site, wherever, to do just that.

What is this amazing thing I'm talking about? Drumroll please... The Kindle, Amazon's wireless reading device. I keep hearing more and more about the Kindle. I was over a friend's house a couple weeks ago and finally saw one up close. She had nothing but good things to say about it.

I don't know... I'm a reader and there's nothing like holding a book, feeling the pages. Books even smell cool. This is some cold, metal electronic device. A $359 electronic device. Of course, you can have the electronic versions of books sent to you wirelessly for only $9.99. You can also download newspapers and blogs, and it includes a great search feature and a built-in dictionary. You can read all about the features of the Kindle plus reviews and discussions on Amazon.com.

According to Amazon's site, they will not ship it to customers outside of the United States. Hmm, maybe I can make a few bucks running the Kindle overseas blackmarket cartel. I'll have to think about it. Buying a Kindle, I mean, not running the cartel.

Who am I kidding? I know it's just a matter of time before I break down and get one. According to Amazon, that time will be 3 to 5 weeks - if I buy it today. If you have a Kindle, or something like it, what do you think about it?

Facebook Turns Five

2009-02-04T14:12:00.016-07:00

The Setting: The social networking site Facebook is five years old today.

It was started in 2004 by then 19-year-old Mark Zuckerberg, and now he's a millionaire. Oh wait, I meant billionaire. Although, according to this article, no one's really sure how Facebook is making money, other than through advertising. Really doesn't matter. Dude's rich.

I resisted signing up for the longest time. My impression was that it was something like MySpace, which I thought of as a site for a bunch of 13 year olds and a bunch of pervs pretending to be 13 years old. I thought of Facebook as something for college students, but my brother convinced me to sign up after I looked at his FB page. That was back in August 2008. Since then, I have connected with a bunch of friends, including a couple from high school; I have found (and been found by) old co-workers; and I am FB friends with many current co-workers. I have friends and family all over the place who, I admit, I don't see or talk to on the phone as often as I would like but it is very easy and fast to communicate with them on a regular basis using FB.

Some people use the site for business, although most I know use it to stay connected with friends and family. Some people post their statuses so often, you feel like a fly on the wall of their lives, watching the whole thing unfold. FB works really well for posting photos and creating albums, which is one of the main things people with kids do so their families living elsewhere can see pics of the kiddies. There are countless applications you can add to your page (I like Sudoku), altough many people choose not to add any apps.

Put Away Your Jackets, Hell is Hot Again

2009-02-02T19:00:00.006-07:00

The Setting: The Arizona Cardinals vs the Pittsburgh Steelers in Super Bowl 43. Steelers win 27-23.

The Cardinals came out smoking in the first half, but fell apart the beginning of the second half. Then they got it together and everything was looking up. Then the Steelers got a touchdown with something like 30 seconds left. Heavy sigh... Actually, it was a very good game, the kind you want to see for the Super Bowl: the lead goes back and forth, it's suspenseful, and it's not a blowout.

In related news, Bruce Springsteen did a good job in the half-time show. And was it just me or were the Super Bowl commercials not as great as they are usually? I heard some companies decided not to spend as much as usual because of the state of the economy.

Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers. Woot

President Barack Hussein Obama

2009-01-20T11:06:00.007-07:00

Hell Has, In Fact, Frozen Over

2009-01-18T09:45:00.015-07:00

The Setting: The NFL NFC Championship Playoffs today beween the Arizona Cardinals and the Philadelphia Eagles.

What can I say? I am definitely one of those people who never thought the day would come when the Arizona Cardinals would be in any kind of a playoff game, let alone the NFC Championship. Do you know what that means? The winner of this game will play the winner of the AFC Championship. The Cardinals are one game away from the Super Bowl. What?!

Some people think the Cards just got lucky, that their playoff wins so far were flukes, even miracles. Whatever. They're in it and I will be rooting for them. I've already placed my advanced order with Pizza Hut, so I'm ready. Let's hope the Cards are ready, too. Maybe, by some luck, fluke, miracle, or even talent, hell will be getting a few more inches of snow tonight.

Photo by Arizona Cardinals.

"They said I was gonna die soon, but maybe not."

2009-01-03T21:29:00.013-07:00

The Setting: Spoken by Brad Pitt's character to Daisy in The Curtious Case of Benjamin Button.

Benjamin Button is the fourth movie I've seen on my list of movies to see. It is a classic love story done in a very unusual way. Brad Pitt plays the main character who is born around 86 years old and grows younger over time. Picture a baby with arthritis and an otherwise healthy pre-teen with dementia.

This film reminded me of Forest Gump many times. Not the plot nor the characters, but the way that the story unfolds - via flashbacks and around-the-world journeys. Although this movie is not quite as whimsical as Forest Gump, it has that same feel.

Is it just me, or does Brad Pitt look more and more like Robert Redford as he ages? I meant in real life, but you see it at certain points in this movie, also. The picture was directed by David Fincher and it also stars a mesmerizingly beautiful Cate Blanchett, plus Taraji P. Henson, Julia Ormond, and Tilda Swinton.

If you can allow yourself to believe the premise of this almost three-hour movie, I recommend that you see it. I give Benjamin Buttons four out of five Slurpees. Based on the movies I saw last year, if Slumdog Millionaire does not win picture of the year, this one will.

Best picture of the year goes to...

2009-01-01T15:41:00.010-07:00

The Setting: Because of the hype surrounding it and just because I can't think of any other movie that I've seen this year that is better, I will go out on a limb right now and say that Slumdog Millionaire will win the Oscar for best picture of the year. It's not a stretch for me to say that; it's what many so-called professional movie critics are also saying.

This movie wasn't even on my list of movies to see, but I've heard so much about it - all positive - that I decided I would just go see it and find out for myself. I'm glad I did.

Slumdog Millionaire takes place in Mumbai, India and follows the story of a young man who is on the verge of winning millions in the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. The story cleverly unfolds, using flashbacks of Jamal's life to show how, through his experiences, he is able to know the answers to most of the questions in the game.

The movie manages to capture the beauty of Mumbai, the culture, and the people in the midst of the corruption, over-population, poverty, and anguish. Be prepared: there are many heart-breaking scenes.

I admit I haven't previously heard of any of the actors, but the picture stars Dev Patel, Madhur Mittal, Freida Pinto, and Anil Kapoor. Danny Boyle directed the picture. This picture also has a great music soundtrack. Stay and watch the dance during the closing credits.

I definitely recommend this movie and give it four and a quarter out of five Slurpees. Yes, a quarter. I just think it's a little better than a four. Go see it.

Let Them Eat Cupcakes, Cupcakes, Cupcakes

2008-12-30T15:42:00.011-07:00

The Settings: I stumbled across this blog that is devoted entirely to cupcakes. It's "all cupcakes, all the time." I thought it was pretty cool.

People tell stories about cupcakes, upload pictures of cupcakes they see in bakeries or of those that they've made themselves. People post videos of themselves talking about cupcakes. The blog includes the cupcake calendar and links to cupcake blogs and bakeries in NYC and other cities and to cupcake books. Don't forget to check out the cupcake haiku.

View the Cupcakes Take the Cake blog here.

I Have an Idea: Shut up!

2008-12-28T22:07:00.013-07:00

The Setting: I do not condone shooting a fellow patron in a movie theatre, but I'm thinking it might be OK to slap them around a little bit.

You should be able to tell by now that I like to go to the movies. A lot. Going to the movies for me is an experience. I get there early, get my medium popcorn and my large Icee, I sit almost all the way at the top of the stadium seating, on the aisle. I actually enjoy watching the previews, partly because they allow me to decide on the next batch of movies I'm going to see.

Inevitably, a couple comes in, usually as the previews are playing, sometimes after the movie has already started. They are talking when they walk in, they talk through the previews, then they continue to talk through the entire picture. Their conversation is usually about the movie, but the couple sitting behind me last week talked about everything but the movie. Actually, the girl was talking, the guy just grunted a few responses now and then. I was hoping one of those grunts would stand for, "shut the hell up."

The last time I went to the movies, The Couple came in and sat in the row I was in, about three seats over. They talked through the entire movie, speculating about what was happening in the movie. I do not like having a movie ruined by the people next to me saying, "I bet you the butler did it!" That's exactly what it's like. Maybe I want to figure out on my own that it was Col. Mustard, with a wrench, in the library.

So this is for you, Mr. and Mrs. Ruin the Movie For Everyone Around You. Maybe discussing the movie and figuring the mystery out is part of your experience. OK, fine. But could you sit in those seats in front of the stadium part so the rest of us don't have to hear it? And I'm not implying anything, but here's an article my friend posted about a guy who shot someone in a theatre who wouldn't stop talking. Again, I do not condone this behavior. I'm just sayin'...

"We have to kill Hitler"

2008-12-26T17:03:00.019-07:00

The Setting: Spoken by Tom Cruise's character, Col. Claus von Stauffenberg, in the movie Valkyrie. Easier said than done. If you're as hated as Hitler, you know someone (lots of someones) will try to kill you. He practically had bodyguards for his bodyguards.

Valkyrie is the third movie I've seen on my list of movies I want to see this holiday season. Not exactly a feel-good movie to see during the holiday season but that is not what I was expecting. It is very much of a drama with lots of moments of suspense. By how crowded the movie theatre was, it appears a lot of people were able to see past the wackiness of Tom Cruise's personal life. Good.

This is one of those films that you go into knowing pretty much how it's going to end. We all knew the Titantic was going to sink, but we still rooted for the characters; we wanted them to succeed, to survive. Well, most of them, anyway. This movie takes you to that place. This picture is not about how the plot ends, it's about the plan, the operation, the attempt. Men who felt strongly enough about their cause that they were willing to risk not only their own lives but the lives of their families as well. It did a great job of portraying the struggle the men felt, wanting to do something but knowing the consequences of failure.

It was based on a true story which, I admit, I really know nothing about, so I don't know how accurate this story is or isn't. Apparently there were 15 known attempts on Hitler's life by Germans. This movie is the portrayal of one of those attempts. As one character says, "We have to show the world that not all of us were like him."

The movie also stars Christian Berkel, Kenneth Branagh, and Terrence Stamp. I liked the movie and I recommend it. I give it three and a half Slurpees.

Happy Holiday Potluck!

2008-12-23T22:43:00.003-07:00

The Setting: We had our holiday potluck at work today. Final score - Christmas cookies: 12, My plan to lose weight: 0.

I took veggies and ranch dip, 'cause it didn't require my having to actually cook anything. But then I made the mistake yesterday of telling a couple co-workers about this recipe I saw online that I planned to make one day.

Long story short, they shamed me into making the recipe. But I'm glad I did. They were amazing although a little hard on my lactose intolerance. Whatever. I walk on the wild side.

Anyway, the recipe is on BettyCrocker.com and it's called Apple Struesel Cheesecake Bars. There is a variation that I plan to make one day called Almond Struesel Cherry Cheesecake Bars, except I'm going to make them without the almonds. Just so you know.

Baby, You Are Magnetic

2008-12-22T22:42:00.005-07:00

The Setting: A friend of mine at work gave me one of those magnetic poetry kits for Christmas. You know the ones?

It's a bunch of magnetic words that you use to create some clever saying and stick it to the refrigerator or some other magnetic surface. Except this one is for dog lovers. As I was on my way to the cafeteria I left a message on her desk: beautiful animals sniff butt.

When I got back from the cafe, she had left a message on my desk: sniff beautiful animals butt.

Oh, I am so gonna have a ball with these magical little magnets! Stay tuned...

"Do you consider yourself to be a good person?"

2008-12-20T13:00:00.010-07:00

The Setting: Walking out of the movie theatre after watching Seven Pounds, all I heard was silence. And a few women (and maybe a few men) sniffing.

Seven Pounds is the second movie I've seen from my list of movies I want to see this Christmas season. One of the reasons I wanted to see it is because the previews and commercials really haven't given too much of the movie away. I really like being able to see a movie under those circumstances and watching it unfold, without knowing much about what's going to happen. Yes, that means I am not going to tell you the plot here.

I was disappointed that I managed to guess part of what was going on a little more than half-way through the movie, but there were some surprises at the end. However, I felt things could have been much more of a surprise if they had left a few things out earlier. Do not expect a Sixth Sense punch .

Certain parts reminded me of another Will Smith movie, I am Legend: Will Smith waking up from a nightmare about something that happened in the past; Will Smith in the shower, upset about something that happened in the past; flashbacks of bits and pieces of something (we just don't know what yet) that happened in the past. Of course, we get to see the whole situation in the end.

This movie is very much of a drama, so expect it to be slow moving in certain spots. Will Smith is good at dramas, but he is really subdued in this movie and I did get a little sick of his having the same look on his face in several scenes. The potential for this movie to be great was there but lack of believeability in parts allowed it to only be good.

Smith's relationship with Rosario Dawson is, as times, elegant. In smaller roles: Barry Pepper, Woody Harrelson, and Michael Ealy. I would give this movie a three and a half out of five Slurpees (that's my new rating system). Worth seeing, but I always recommend going to the matinee just because I never pay full price for a movie.

We're (Still) Doomed, I Tell Ya!

2008-12-18T20:06:00.004-07:00

The Setting: Just in case you weren't depressed enough, here is some gloom and doom from "eight of the market's sharpest thinkers."

View the slide show here in which these experts predict what's going to happen with the economy over the next couple of years.

My favorite line: "In my view, U.S. stocks are still not attractive."

No shit.

"The Process Has Begun"

2008-12-13T13:41:00.017-07:00

The Setting: Cue dramatic music and zoom in on Keanu Reeve's emotionless face as he utters this line to the poor, helpless humans in The Day the Earth Stood Still.

This movie is on my list of movies I want to see this Christmas season. I'll start my review with two comments. As the closing credits were rolling a lady walking past said to me, "Not as good as the original." Then a couple went by and I heard the woman say, "It was kinda hokey." Both true statements.

I didn't expect to see Oscar-nomination-worthy performances; I just wanted to see stuff getting blown up. Surprisingly, this movie really doesn't have a lot of that. For example, you just know that in every disaster or alien-attack movie, NYC will be destroyed. In this movie, we see parts of it destroyed, but not how you would expect. This movie has way more drama and way less action than I expected.

Plus, there is a message that is overdone to the point of being preachy. And in the end, it was a little too, well... easy to get rid of the aliens.

Keanu Reeves was good at being robotic and unemotional as Klaatu. Seeing him in a suit for much of the movie was weird because I couldn't stop thinking about the bad guys in The Matrix. Jennifer Connelly is the sympathetic scientist who wants to help Klaatu. Jaden Smith seems too bratty and smart alecky most of the movie, even after we learn his situation. Kathy Bates is tough as nails as the US Secretary of Defense. In my opinion, the star of the show is the huge, indestructible, super robot that comes out of the spacecraft. He (It?) was named Gort in the original movie, although I don't remember them saying his name in this movie. Anyway, I would like to see Gort get his own starring role.

I would give the movie a two and a half out of five. My advice if you want to see this movie: either go to a matinee (absolutely do not pay full price) or wait until the DVD comes out. In better news, yes, I had my requisite Slurpee, plus I saw a preview for the upcoming Star Trek movie, which looks promising.

You Want Some of Barack, too, Palin?

2008-12-11T17:36:00.004-07:00

The Setting: Apparently, they're having a hard time finding a decent Barack Obama impersonator, a Fauxbama. I thought he had enough things going on with his voice and mannerisms that someone would be able to do it.

Fred Armisen on Saturday Night Live is only fair at his impersonation, although I think this past Saturday was the best he's done so far. Well, there's this kid on YouTube who's actually very good - he has the voice, the pauses and inflections, the "uh's," the head movements, and the finger pointings down. And he's also very funny. He doesn't look that much like Obama, but he is definitely the best I've heard so far.

His name is Iman Crossun and he has moved from Ohio to LA and now has a manager, so I'm sure we'll all see him somewhere, soon. Check out Iman's video on YouTube, which shows Obama preparing for a debate. This other video of the third Obama/McCain debate is great, too.

Get the Torches! I'll Grab the Pitchforks!

2008-12-10T12:56:00.008-07:00

The Setting: Illinois Governor, Rod Blagojevich, was arrested Tuesday on federal conspiracy charges for allegedly (Ha!) attempting to sell the senate seat that will replace President-elect Obama’s vacated spot.

They apparently have Blagojevich on tape pressuring candidates for campaign contributions and other benefits. The powers that be feel it would now be unacceptable for Blagojevich to choose Obama's successor. Many are calling for his resignation, while the Illinois legislature could also vote to impeach him.

Here is my limerick celebrating this momentous event. I know, I know - I should be the US poet laureate.

Once twas a man named Blagojevich
Whose quest for power soon had a glitch
Promised contributions
Soon, his prosecution
Barack said, “The hell you thinkin’, bitch?”

Five of My Pet Peeves, part II

2008-12-09T12:02:00.018-07:00

The Setting: I told you there would be more. Here are five more things that get on my nerves. Wah!

Glitter - I hate any and all glitter. It is so unnecessary and it gets everywhere. Once, I was explaining to a friend of mine that I don't like glitter as I was holding a greeting card that was covered in it. She looked at me and said, "You have some glitter stuck to your forehead." My point, exactly! Now, my friends who know I don't like glitter and I try to torment each other by giving each other Christmas cards covered with as much glitter as possible. MwaHaHaHa! Merry Christmas!

Sports cars that drive 10 mph below the speed limit - I guess it's actually the drivers of the cars who are going 10 mph below the speed limit. Anyway, around here, people go 10 mph above the speed limit like it's a requirement or something. If I see another Corvette going 53 on the freeway... Why did you buy that speed machine if you're not going to at least go the speed limit? I know, I know - the cops are watching you. Whatever...

Pens with blue ink - They remind me of being in elementary school. I just think that black ink is more professional, more formal or something. Blue ink reminds me of practicing writing the alphabet on wide-ruled paper just before going out to recess. And I want absolutely no reminders of that hell known as childhood.

People who tailgate: And every time you slow down or come to a stop, they almost run into the back of your car. Like every single time, it's a surprise to them that traffic is stopping. Like all the brake lights in the other two lanes and my brake lights in front of them are somehow not enough of a hint that we're stopping now. Would you like to just come ride with me? Maybe then you'll get there a whole two seconds sooner. Hmm, maybe driving 10 mph below the speed limit is not so bad after all...

People with no sense of humor - Yes, they actually exist and I know a few of them. I have secretly studied them. My findings: they suck.

Someone Call Shyamalan

2008-12-08T12:03:00.009-07:00

The Setting: I'm thinking we need a movie where the cell phones take over the world.

I saw something about this on TV a while back and I just read about it on the npr blog. You can load this software called Shop Savvy to your iPhone or your T-Mobile G1, and it allows you to use the phone's camera to scan the barcode of a product in a store. It then displays the cheapest price for that product and lists reviews from people who have bought the product.

The blog posting also mentions the Shazam application, which allows you to hold your phone up to a TV, car radio speaker, etc and the software identifies the song that's playing and displays a link where you can download the song. Apparently, it only works with a recording of the song; it won't work if you try to sing it (especially the way I sing).

I saw a commercial about this other technology beginning around Thanksgiving time and there is info about it on the Time magazine site. You can use your iPhone, T-Mobile Google phone, or even your Nintendo DS to download recipes and use the device as an interactive cookbook. The Nintendo DS even responds to voice commands.

I know this is just the tip of the iceberg; there's a lot of other cell phone technology out there now and some other things we haven't even heard of yet. For example, I think it was last year I heard they were working on technology where you can scan a movie poster in a movie theatre lobby and then see the preview on your phone. I wonder if that's already available? Anyway, this is all pretty cool stuff.

A Date Which Will Live in Infamy

2008-12-07T07:48:00.013-07:00

The Setting: At 7:53 am on Sunday, December 7, 1941, approximately 184 Japanese bomber and fighter planes began the first wave of attacks on Pearl Harbor Naval Station.

Through a series of miscommunications, the American fleet was totally unprepared for the attack and, in the end, 2,335 servicemen and 68 civilians were killed and 1,178 were wounded. Almost half of the casualties came from the USS Arizona which lost 1,104. The ship still lies at the bottom of the harbor and is the site of the Pearl Harbor memorial.
Photo by Verna Bice.

Following are the first and last paragraphs of FDR's Pearl Harbor Address to the Nation, given on December 8, 1941.

Yesterday, December 7th, 1941 -- a date which will live in infamy -- the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.

I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7th, 1941, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese empire.

Being Afraid of John Malkovich

2008-12-06T22:08:00.003-07:00

The Setting: Am I the only one who's just a little bit afraid of John Malkovich?

I'm sure he's a very nice man and I know he's acting and all that, but there's just something a little...I don't know...sinister about him. I guess that means he's a really good actor. He is fascinating to me in a he-may-kill-you-in-your-sleep kinda way. He's made several movies that I liked such as In the Line of Fire, Being John Malkovich, and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Anyway, he is hosting Saturday Night Live tonight. I sure hope it's good.

Oh, and don't tell him what I said about him.

We're Mad as Hell!!

2008-12-02T20:51:00.010-07:00

The Setting: I came across this clip of Peter Finch as Howard Beale in the movie Network. Some consider it to be one of the best movie speeches ever. It's from 1976, but it could really be from 2008. Watch the Mad as Hell clip on YouTube.

"I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth; banks are going bust; shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter; punks are running wild in the streets, and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it... I'm as mad as hell and I'm not gonna take this anymore!!"

I Can't Fuggetaboutit

2008-12-02T20:10:00.020-07:00

The Setting: If I'm lucky, sometime tomorrow I will be buying an apartment building and a grenade launcher. One to generate income and one to destroy my enemies. MwaaHaHaHaHa!! Meet my latest addiction: Mob Wars.

I play it as an app through Facebook, although there is a standalone online version. A friend of mine convinced me to sign up and join her mob, and then I invited another friend to join. I really should not have started playing when I had a couple of days to kill while on Thanksgiving vacation. The more time I spent playing, the more strategy I learned, so the more I wanted to play. It's like crack, I tell ya.

Like a typical mob, the point is to acquire money and power by obtaining weapons and cars, committing crimes (jobs), buying property, and increasing your mob size. You can even keep your money in the bank after paying their 10% laundering fee. You can also attack rival mobs and try to steal their money. I was not at all interested in doing that. I was just going to lay low, try not to draw any attention to myself, and let my properties generate income.

Then someone attacked me. Actually, a few people attacked me and a couple got some of my money. OK, it was only like 12 virtual dollars, but it was MY 12 virtual dollars. It was so ON after that. I sought my revenge, attacking rival gangs with a passion, slowed only by my depleting health points. Once, I got lucky and stole $43K dollars from someone. MwaaHaHaHaHa, part II.

Anyway, I only need another $30K or so to go shopping tomorrow. I love the smell of grenade launcher smoke in the morning. Smells like... well, grenade launcher smoke.

B&N Kicks Major Ass

2008-11-30T19:50:00.015-07:00

The Setting: There is a new Barnes and Noble bookstore near my house, one of those large, two-story versions.

I've decided that when I'm ready to retire or if (when?) I'm forced into early retirement, I am going to get a job at that store. I know I won't make much money but I love me some books. Plus, there's a CD/DVD department and a Starbucks. That's right - I love me some music and some coffee, too.

I went to B&N a few days ago and I ended up getting this book called The Reincarnationist by M.J. Rose, which I read for about an hour while I was still in the store. It's good so far, but I haven't read any more of it because I wanted to finish this other book called The Darkest Evening of the Year by Dean Koontz. I finished it this morning and it was alright - pretty standard Dean Koontz stuff.

I also have another book called Walt Disney World & Orlando for Dummies. I'm not exactly reading it from cover to cover. It's really just a reference for the trip I'd like to take one of these days. I like the Dummies books; they really appeal to my analytical need to plan out everything.

In related news, I guess I haven't been paying that much attention to the B&N web site. They actually have a tag cloud at the bottom of their home page, which I thought was cool for some reason. I guess I'm easily amused.

Photo courtesy of www.BN.com.

Grayish Black Friday

2008-11-28T08:08:00.013-07:00

The Setting: Black Friday is the Friday after Thanksgiving that officially kicks off the Christmas shopping season. It's when retailers are supposed to start making a profit, moving from the red to the black.

I just got back home a little while ago. I was in Sears' electronics department at 6 am this morning. I don't normally participate in Black Friday activities, but I was up early out of habit and decided to just do it. Nope, I did not get the 65-inch Mitsubishi LaserVue HDTV I wrote about a couple days ago. Tempting, but I decided to go with my second choice: a Samsung 19-inch HDTV to put in my bedroom.

The mall parking lot was about half full at 6 am and there were a LOT of people in Sears already (they opened at 5). My brother had brought a paper over on Thanksgiving and I was able to look through the ads, so it didn't take me long to pick out the TV I wanted at Sears; however, the wait in line at the cash registers took about an hour.

I haven't heard yet if the experts consider this to be a successful Black Friday or if it's more of a Gray, a Reddish Grayish Black, or what. Personally, I think we are still doomed, but hopefully we are on our way to not being quite as doomed. What's just below doomed? Screwed? I'm hoping that next year we can start turning this ridonculous economy around. Whatever happens, I'll be watching it all go down on my new TV.

So Let's Recap...

2008-11-26T16:03:00.013-07:00

The Setting: I really admire people who have blogs with a theme and every single day they post something that has to do with that topic. I'm not sure I have that much to say about anything. And being the arrogant bastard that I am, I usually have something to say about pretty much everything.

I was looking back over my last week's worth of postings and they are all over the place. I must be whacked out of my mind. Let's review, shall we?

Nov. 18: I posted five of my pet peeves (there will be more). I think my comments about soccer moms may have offended a few people. As planned. I can cross #17 off my list of things to do this week.
Nov. 20: I discussed the controversy surrounding CA's Prop 8; specifically, how protesters picketed at some Mormon temples because of the church's huge support of this prop. Final score: My Two Moms 1, Your Fourteen Wives 0.
Nov. 21: I thought I was all clever for inventing a new phrase called the Shyamalan Phenomenon, about how so many movie trailers are better than the movies themselves. Since then, I discovered others have used this phrase before I did, although with different definitions. I am still clever, but to a lesser degree.
Nov. 22: I showed my sensitive side and posted a kick-ass puppycam. It helps me relax, OK?!
Nov. 23: I listed my ten reasons why Puff the cat (not her real name) was "just not working out." I had to laugh thinking of that cat doing the Lord of the Dance clog dance on the wood floors.
Nov. 24: I admitted I am a geek and I listed some of my favorite gadgets from Wired magazine's Wish List 2008. Any minute now, the FBI will be kicking my door in for using the words "bullets" and "sniper" in the same blog posting. Hey, they were nerf bullets. Oh, and I'm gonna win that Wired contest, which includes $8500 worth of electronic loot (eLoot?).
Nov. 25: To balance out my greed, I discussed Network for Good, my favorite online charity donation site. Seriously, check it out.

Network for Good

2008-11-25T17:50:00.001-07:00

The Setting: OK, after my greed-driven posting yesterday, here's the real deal: Network for Good.

I like to use this site for making donations online. It allows you to search for your favorite charities and easily make donations to one or several organizations, all in one spot. It also keeps track of your donation history so you can print receipts for tax purposes.

These are tough economic times for all of us, but if you have a few extra bucks, why not help out someone who may have it even worse than you do.

Check out Network for Good here.

Wish List 2008

2008-11-24T19:41:00.037-07:00

The Setting: Today I received my latest issue of Wired magazine in the mail. (Hi, I'm Val and I'm a geek!). This Dec. 2008 issue has a section called Wish List, which is a guide to help you find just the right gift for that special someone.

First of all, they trick you by starting with a fold-out ad of the new Blackberry Storm, which keeps mocking me from those cool TV ads. OK, maybe I don't need that or any of this stuff, but here are some things Wired highlighted that I wouldn't mind having:

Nerf N-Strike Recon CS-6 - This "pump-action blaster" shoots nerf foam bullets and comes with a "red-dot sight for cubicle sniping." Pump action? Red-dot sight? Cubicle sniping? And it's only twenty bucks? I'll take one! This outta liven up those staff meetings a little bit...

Tod's Cartella Computer Bag - This is a very, very sweet textured leather computer bag and it's only $1600. Ha! But the really cool thing is, Wired is having a contest and someone will win one of these bags filled with 23 very cool electronic gadgets. By "someone," I mean Val.

Mitsubishi LaserVue HDTV - Apparently, this TV consumes 33 percent less energy than a similar sized LCD and the lasers will never need replacing. Whatever. It's 65 inches of HDTV heaven! Picture it: my new TV, my La-Z-boy recliner, my 14 empty pizza boxes, and my big ole' fat butt. Merry Christmas! P.S. - This TV is only $6,999. What a deal.

Photo Credits: http://www.toysrus.com/, www.neimanmarcus.com, www.laservuetv.com

Puff, It's Not You, It's Me...

2008-11-23T08:58:00.009-07:00

The Setting: Yesterday, a friend of mine told me about a friend of hers who had gone to the pound to get a cat. She ended up taking it back. Then she got another one and took it back, too. Finally, she got a third one and kept it. Her explanation with the first two? "They just weren't working out."

We thought that was hilarious. They were cats. How could a cat possibly not work out? They don't need or want much. Turns out, according to my friend's friend, the first two cats actually were very needy. I'm not sure in what way, but I just had to come up with my top ten things Puff the cat could do to cause her to "just not work out.". Drum roll please....

She keeps eating my Pop Tarts.
She gets little splatters on the mirror every time she brushes her teeth.
She never puts gas in the car.
She keeps dressing my dog up in stupid outfits.
She smokes in the house, even though we agreed she would only do it on the back porch.
I keep coming home and catching her doing that Lord of the Dance clog dance. On my wood floors!
I suspect she's having an affair with my husband.
She won't stop licking herself.
She won't stop licking my husband.
She's a Republican.

Puppies for Breakfast

2008-11-22T09:30:00.014-07:00

The Setting: Puppycam! Watch puppies playing. And sleeping. A lot. But hurry! They won't stay puppies for long.

I'm doing this for your own good. Scientific evidence proves that watching puppies pounce on each other, chew on each others' ears and tails, eat out of a shared bowl, sleep in a big pile, pee on a newspaper, shake toys around in their mouths, and jump up on any human who goes into their cage actually lowers your blood pressure and helps you relax .

Oh wait, that wasn't the puppycam, that was the party last night at my place. ;-)

Look closely and you'll see they have on different colored collars. Dark Blue Collar is my fave. View the puppycam here.

The Shyamalan Phenomenon

2008-11-21T18:21:00.010-07:00

The Setting: How come there are so many movies that don’t live up to their hype?

I went to the movies the other day to see Quantum of Solace. I didn't like it as much as Casino Royale, also featuring Daniel Craig, but I liked it more than the critics seemed to. Before the movie started, I realized that I could probably enjoy sitting in a theatre and watching nothing but movie previews for two hours, as long as there were a medium popcorn and a large Slurpee involved. Whomever is in charge of editing those movie trailers (the directors?), does a really good job of making you want to see the actual movies. The trailers are like little two-minute movies, with nothing but good parts throughout.

The problem is, the two-hour versions of many of those movies can't match the excitement of the trailers. This happens quite a bit with M. Night Shyamalan movies. I always want to see his movies but often end up disappointed. One example is The Happening, starring Mark Wahlberg. Did you see it? Remember how great the trailers were? Don't get me wrong: the movie was OK. It had some good suspenseful scenes, and it had that message about mankind not destroying the earth, blah, blah, blah, but I just wanted more. Check out various trailers for The Happening.

My Two Moms

2008-11-20T12:03:00.004-07:00

The Setting: On Friday, November 14 about 2000 demonstrators protested at Temple Square in Salt Lake City against CA Prop 8, which amends California's constitution to define marriage as legal only between one man and one woman.

Another 2,000 protesters had picketed Thursday afternoon outside the Los Angeles temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Opponents of Prop 8 said they targeted the Mormon church because, allegedly, Mormon leaders had instructed church members to support the cause as much as possible, and that the church "donated a majority of money raised in support of the measure” (rumor has it, $19M). Protesters wondered if $19M was the amount needed to erase that line between church and state. The church said that it did not target any specific group and said in a statement that “it is disturbing The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is being singled out for speaking up as part of its democratic right in a free election."

The Mormon leaders recently stated, "undeviating standard of sexual morality: intimate relations are proper only between a husband and a wife united in bonds of matrimony." Protesters felt the church was being hypocritical, considering their history with polygamy, which involves relations between a husband and several wives. Although the practice was abandoned over 100 years ago, some Fundamentalist groups are rumored to still practice it underground (ala Warren Jeffs).

Needless to say, this battle will not be over for a long time to come. Whatever your views, my favorite picket sign I saw on CNN during the Salt Lake protests said, "My two moms can beat up your 14 wives."

Five of My Pet Peeves

2008-11-18T12:40:00.000-07:00

The Setting: Here are just a few things that get on my nerves. There will be more. Day ain't over yet.

Cheap-assed paper plates: Because they bend and you end up wearing the food. Pay the extra 43 cents and splurge for the Chinettes. Please.

Precocious children: Because they are possessed by the devil. All of them. Prove me wrong.

Bill O'Reilly: Not really a pet peeve; he just bugs me. He was probably a precocious child.

People who never shut the hell up: Because they never shut the hell up.

Mini vans: Because they represent everything that's wrong with America. OK, just kidding. Let's see... soccer mom driving her kids around, cutting me off because either that van has some wicked blind spots or mommy dearest has self medicated to deal with giving up her hopes and dreams to be relegated to driving small people around who actually have lives of their own.

Wow, I really need to eat lunch - apparently, my blood sugar has dropped to dangerously low levels. ;-)~

Cleveland Browns vs. Buffalo Bills

2008-11-17T22:19:00.000-07:00

The Setting: Monday Night Football, November 17, 2008. Cleveland Browns vs. Buffalo Bills at Buffalo.

I don't typically watch football on Monday nights, or any night, for that matter. I used to be into it, but not so much anymore. But I watched most of this game and I picked a good one to watch as it was actually very exciting. Several interceptions, lots of breakaway runs, a couple of back-to-back long yardage touchtowns, last-minute field goal, last-minute field goal miss, score close enough to keep it interesting. Final score: Cleveland 29, Buffalo 27.

I also discovered that this guy named James Walker, who works for ESPN.com, has a live blog going during the game. He posts about every half hour or so on the status of the game. Interesting. I'm gonna have to think of a reason to do a live, ongoing blog one day. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow at work: "OK, I'm going to the bathroom again. Finally, time for lunch. Now I'm staring blankly at my keyboard. Uh oh, here comes my boss..."

Movies of 2008 Christmas Season

2008-11-17T20:25:00.000-07:00

The Setting: The five movies of the 2008 Christmas season that I am most looking forward to.

December 12 – The Day the Earth Stood Still
Keanu Reeves pretty much acts robot-like in all of his movies so he will probably do a good job playing space alien Klaatu in this remake of the 1951 original movie. Also stars Jennifer Connelly and Kathy Bates (love her!). And I’m sure there will be lots of things blowing up. Woo hoo!

December 19 – Seven Pounds
Will Smith stars as a suicidal IRS agent who is changing the lives of seven people. But we don’t know why. There is enough of a mystery here to make me really want to see this movie. That, and the fact that Will Smith is in it and he usually makes great movies. Plus, he’s fine as hell. Also stars Woody Harrelson and Rosario Dawson.

December 19 – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Brad Pitt plays a boy who was born into a 70-year old body and he’s aging backwards. No, I don’t know how it all works, but this is a funky enough concept that I wanna see it. Also stars Cate Blanchett and Tilda Swinton.

December 25 – Marley & Me
Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson star with a very cute Labrador named, you guessed it, Marley. It is about various adventures in this wild and crazy dog’s 13-year life. I know, I know: it is a feel good movie. What’s wrong with that? Hey, any excuse for some popcorn and a Slurpee.

December 26 – Valkyrie
Tom Cruise and friends plot to assassinate Hitler in Nazi Germany. Um… I don’t think they succeed, but what the heck? Interesting story, probably has some great action, and Tom Cruise is in it. Eddie Izzard is also in it – he’s my future husband, although he probably doesn’t know yet. Oh, and I get another Slurpee!

"America is a place where all things are possible..."

2008-11-05T16:15:00.000-07:00

"Rosa Parks sat so Martin could walk... Martin walked so Obama could run... Obama ran so our children can fly..."

~ Author unknown

Photo: Kyle Almond/CNN

Vote Vote Vote!

2008-11-04T16:57:00.000-07:00

The Setting: Early October in a westbound Delta flight. A 23-year old female is talking to a 26-year old male whom she met during the flight. Valley Val is eavesdropping (mainly because she hadn't bothered putting on her noise canceling headphones).

Female: "Yeah, my sister and I are so different. We're nothing alike. I'm short, she's tall; I have blond hair and blue eyes, she has brown hair and dark eyes; I'm Democrat, and she has a stick up her ass..."

Those were her words, not mine.

I voted during early voting, but I took my mother to the polls this morning. Very early this morning. We got in line just before 5 am. There were around 20 people in front of us. The doors opened at 6 am and we were back in the car at 6:15. By then, there were probably another 200 people in line. What I noticed about the crowd was the mixture of people: older people (definition: anyone older than I am), younger people; black people, white people, brown people (a lot more white than black or brown); people (supposedly) with sticks up their asses, others (allegedly) with no sticks up theirs.

The polls are beginning to close in the eastern states. CNN just projected that McCain won Kentucky and Obama won Vermont. Hopefully, by the end of the night, we will know which one is our next president, and it won't drag on for days. No matter what happens, history will be made tonight. I kinda like this strange new world in which two young white people can sit on an airline flight and openly discuss why they're voting for a black man. Another thing that's for sure: this has been the most interesting, exciting, mud slingingly, emotional election in which I have ever voted. And I am SO glad it's (almost) over.

Happy All Hallow's Eve

2008-10-31T19:59:00.000-07:00

The Setting: Halloween. What is it, anyway?

According to Sabbatarian.com: "Samhain is the original festival that became "All Saints' Day," or "All Hallow's Evening". The day before Samhain is the last day of the old year and the day after Samhain is the first day of the pagan "New Year". Being a day "between years," it is considered a very magical night, when the dead walk among the living and the veils between past, present and future may be lifted in prophecy and divination."

And mysteriousbritain.co.uk:
"Traditionally, it is when the gates of the otherworld are open, a time when dark forces are abroad in the realm of humans."

Yikes! That's too much for me, man. All I wanna do is watch scary movies and eat some crown-threatening Tootsie Rolls, Dubble Bubble gum, and Dots. Happy Halloween!

Press Send and Watch the Fun Begin

2008-10-20T12:05:00.000-07:00

The Setting: You have just sent an e-mail to a friend or co-worker of yours, saying something negative about someone else. Only after clicking Send do you realize that you actually also sent the e-mail to the person you were bad-mouthing.

I can’t recall ever doing this myself, but I have had several experiences where I sent an e-mail to someone and included some unflattering things about someone else, and then the person I originally sent it to responded and copied several other people on the e-mail (bastard!). This typically happens when there's a long e-mail string and people aren't thinking about what may be included in one of the earlier e-mails.

Basically, I’ve learned to not include anything in an e-mail that I wouldn’t mind someone else seeing because I know I have zero control over what happens to that e-mail after I send it. But I am an idiot, after all, so I am sure I will continue saying things I later wish I could take back. Just refer to any of my previous blog postings for examples…

Here is the article I read today on this topic. The comments at the end of other people’s embarrassing examples are hilarious. I would love to hear your embarrassing stories, too.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/10/20/lw.recovering.email.mistakes/index.html

That One 08

2008-10-09T12:07:00.000-07:00

The Setting: Tuesday, October 7, 2008. The presidential debate.

John McCain: "“By the way my friends, I know you grow a little weary of this back and forth. There was an energy bill on the floor of the Senate – loaded down with goodies, billions for the oil companies,” Mr. McCain said, winding up to it. “You know who voted for it – you might never know?”
He then pointed at his rival, Senator Barack Obama, and answered his own question: "That one." He continued, “You know who voted against it? Me.”"

http://www.thatone08.com/

We're Doomed! Doomed, I Tell Ya!!

2008-09-30T07:47:00.000-07:00

The Setting: The failing American economy. All day, every day.

Banking Industry: We’re doomed!
Mortgage Lenders: We’re doomed!
Homeowners soon to be in Foreclosure: We're doomed! And soon to be homeless!
401K Plans: We suck!
Californian: We’re, like, doomed, dudes!
American Taxpayers: We’re doomed!
Iran: You’re doomed! Mwwaa hahahahahahaha!
British Stock Market / Nikkei / Hang Seng / India Stock Market: They’re doomed; therefore, so are we, but to a lesser degree!
Congress: We’re doomed! And indecisive!!

[Pause]

American Taxpayers: Wanna go for a Starbucks?
Everybody: Yaaaaaay!!

[Pause]

Dow Jones: Uh…Can I borrow five bucks?

"United" Nations Speech

2008-09-29T12:27:00.000-07:00

The Setting: In his annual address to the United Nations General Assembly, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (pronounced ass-hole) resumed his criticism of American foreign policy. Ahmadinejad gave his opinion onseveral tantalizing topics. The U.S. diplomats were not there, except for one woman taking notes. Seriously? In 2008 we actually have a note taker? What if the note taker wrote down what Ahmadinejad meant rather than what he said? Let's see what would happen, shall we?

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: "Tehran will not abandon its nuclear ambitions. I officially announce that in our opinion, the nuclear issue of Iran is now closed and has turned into an ordinary agency matter."
American Note Taker: 'As soon as we get enough plutonium, we are going to blow something up.'
Ahmadinejad: "Again, I insist that the program is for peaceful purposes only” [chuckles unconvincingly] "I just don’t understand these accusations from Washington. We are not pursuing a nuclear weapon. All our nuclear activities are transparent, peaceful, and under the watchful eyes of the IAEA inspectors."
Note Taker: 'More than likely, it will be Israel. Or possibly the United States.'
Ahmadinejad: "Excellencies, the question needs to be asked, if the governments of the United States or the United Kingdom, who are permanent members of the Security Council, commit aggression, occupation, and violation of international law, which of the organs of the U.N. can take them to account?"
Note Taker: Writing furiously, 'America…is…spawn…of…the…devil. I 'm… taking…my…ball…and…going…home.'
Ahmadinejad: "Today, it is undeniable that the Security Council most critically and urgently needs legitimacy and effectiveness."
Note Taker: 'I repeat, we are going to annihilate our enemies as soon as we possibly can...'
Ahmadinejad: "Human beings are all God's creatures and are all endowed with dignity and respect. No one has superiority over others. Citizens of Asia, Africa, Europe and America are all equal."
Note Taker: '…starting with Israel.'
Ahmadinejad: "All nations and states are entitled to peace, progress and security."
Note Taker: 'I am a nut. You must stop me by any means necessary. '
Ahmadinejad: "Together we can eradicate the roots of bitter maladies and afflictions and, instead, through the promotion of universal and lasting values, such as ethics, spirituality and justice, allow our nations to taste the sweetness of a better future."
Note Taker: 'Seriously, stop me. Trust me on this.'
Ahmadinejad: "It is imperative and also desirable that we, too, contribute to the promotion of justice and virtue."
Note Taker: 'I am full of shit.'
Ahmadinejad: "All divine prophets, from the prophet Adam, peace be upon him, to the prophet Moses, to the prophet Jesus Christ, to the prophet Mohammad, have all called humanity to monotheism, justice, brotherhood, love and compassion."
Note Taker: 'I am in deniable of my own insanity.'

Dodge Ram Pick-ups are Cool!

2008-09-24T09:15:00.000-07:00

The Setting: Loop 202 – West freeway, center lane, Wednesday morning around 6:40 am.

Valley Val: "Dear driver of the white Dodge Ram 2500 pick-up with available 5.7L HEMI V8 engine with 345 hp with up to 15,650-lb towing capacity, the most capable off-road full-size pickup, Nice truck. But seriously: GET OFF MY FUCKING TAIL!! Love, Val"

The Dream Ticket

2008-09-24T08:41:00.000-07:00

The Setting: What would have happened if Barack Obama had chosen Hillary Clinton as his running mate? What would John McCain have had to do to beat an Obama / Clinton ticket?

McCain: "Jesus, I need your help!"
Jesus: "What do you need, Scott? No… Tom! Wait, who are you again?"
McCain: "It’s John! You remember me. Come on…"
Jesus: "Let me open these blinds. Oh yeah, I see it now. OK, I'm good. What can I help you with?"
McCain: "It's about this whole Obama / Clinton thing."
Jesus: "Yes, I've heard about it."
McCain: "I need your help. Obama / Clinton is the Dream Ticket. I don't think there is any ticket that will be strong enough to beat them. Obama / Clinton will beat anybody I could bring. There's McCain / Huckabee, but let's face it: he even scares the hell out of me."
Jesus: "Me, too!"
McCain: "A McCain / Powell ticket could've come close, but Colin said no."
Jesus: "Can't say I blame him."
McCain: "So I got to thinking. What ticket could possibly beat Obama / Clinton? And then it came to me. Picture it: McCain / Christ."
Jesus: "Don’t you mean Christ / McCain?"
McCain: "Aw, come on. I've already gotten the presidential nomination. I just need a running mate. But I just can't beat that Obama / Clinton ticket."
Jesus: "Well, neither can I. Besides, I'm an Independent. Security!"

I just LOVE Sarah Palin!

2008-09-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

The Setting: Saturday morning, overheard in radio interviews of passers-by.

Interviewer: "Has Gov. Sarah Palin being involved in the presidential election influenced how you are going to vote?"
Black Woman: "Nope."
Black Man: "Hell no."
Young Person: "No, 'cause I wasn't gonna vote anyway."
White Man: Not really. "Although she is nice to look at, she doesn't really change anything. She is cute, though."
White Woman (current John McCain supporter): "I was going to vote for McCain anyway, but this makes it even better!"
White Woman (former Hillary Clinton supporter): "I was going to vote for McCain anyway, but this makes it even better! No, I’m not really sure what makes her qualified, but she is like me. I have children, and I'm a soccer mom, which is VERY similar to a hockey mom. Plus, I wear lipstick, too! It's perfect! I have so much respect for her! I just couldn’t bring myself to vote for Obama. I can't put my finger on it, there's just something about him. Oh no, it's not because he’s black. I'm not prejudiced or anything. Some of my best friends… well, my neighbor's nanny is black. And I let her come over to our cook-out a couple weekends ago. So she could watch the kids. Anyway, I heard Obama was Muslim and I just can't support that. I just LOVE Sarah Palin! I feel like I've been knowing her forever!"

Yay! Trip to Super Target!

2008-09-17T12:29:00.000-07:00

The Setting: Super Target, Sunday morning, 10 am. Checkout lane #6.

The teenaged cashier is standing there, thinking of teenaged cashier things. Previous Customer is pushing her basket away. Enter Valley Val. Valley approaches the register and begins placing her items on the conveyor belt.

Teenaged Cashier: [blank stare]
Valley Val: "Hello."
Teenaged Cashier: [blank stare as she begins ringing up the items.]
Valley Val: (this time louder) "Good morning!"
Teenaged Cashier: "Oh, hi." [said in an "Oh, I didn’t see you there, even though I had already started ringing up your items" kind of tone.]

The cashier finishes ringing up the merchandise, putting it in bags, and placing them at the end of the register stand. Valley pays with a debit card and decides to get $20 cash back. Teenaged Cashier finishes ringing up the items.

Valley places the last of the bags in her cart. "Hmmm," Valley thinks, "I wonder if Teenaged Cashier will actually *tell* me the total amount or make me figure it out on my own." Valley faces Teenaged Cashier.

Teenaged Cashier: [blank stare]
Valley Val: [blanker stare]
Teenaged Cashier: [blank stare]

Valley Val thinks, "Say it, say it. You can do it… 'Your total is…' Come on…"

Teenaged Casher: [looks uncomfortable and gestures toward debit card machine] "Just a couple more button pushes." [said in the slightly condescending tone nurses use when they speak to elderly people at the doctor’s office, like they’re deaf or stupid.]

Valley Val looks at debit card machine and thinks, "Oh, there’s my total. Good thing I looked here." She pushes just a couple more buttons. Teenaged Cashier grabs the receipt and the $20 bill and hands it to Valley. Valley wonders, "Hmmm, I wonder if Teenaged Cashier will muster up enough energy to thank me for coming to the store today."

Valley takes the money and the receipt and pauses for a few seconds.

Teenaged Cashier: "There ya go."

Valley Val has been dismissed. She thinks, "I feel so complete. So… satisfied. Thank you, Teenaged Cashier for making my day. I'm ever so glad I came into this store today!"